Today is my day off. I’m out of my house and doing a mix of personal stuff and errands online such as ordering a textbook for a class I start next week and other stuff.

I’m sitting in a McD’s sipping my $1 tea and watching as an employee is across the partially empty restaurant and mumbling to himself about Batman and whatever else crosses his mind. He is harmless and appears to be kind souled. He has graying hair and has a thin frame that puts him at about 5’6″.

Am I picking on him by describing him here? No, he is a person just like everyone else. I’m observing him no differently than I anything else.

But Dave you haven’t mentioned other people in your driveling rants before?

Partially true… he said ‘Batman’ which caught my ear. I also just happen to be in a writing mode so he has become the focus of my thoughts. So its just chance and circumstance mixed in with some undeniable BATraction.

Yes, I went there. I went down the Batcave.

Oh and “SUCK IT DWIGHT!”*

*(And Dwight is doesn’t count as a person since she is such a bitch in the canine sense)

…

…

My god the wifi at this place sucks. It’s so friggin slow. It’s like Mr. Freeze- aagghhh…

(pulls out my mifi device)

I exited my communal work area and entered the transition hall heading towards the bathroom. There, at the end of it standing in the corner, just before the corner where the bathroom was, stood my opponent. He had his cell phone up but his focus was entirely upon me.

I’m sure that everyone has seen an old west movie at some point in their lives where two people face off against each other in a quick draw.

His eyes narrowed as he began measuring his adversary.

My leg began lifting in my patented Crane Attack Ⓒ

…

…

…

His shoe flew out in my direction but fell short of me and came to a tumbling stop just before my feet. My sandal flew up and struck the ceiling tile just a few feet out from my head. The tile, due to the impact, came out of its track and was now askew up in the rafter tracks.

We both broke out laughing and glancing over our shoulders hoping that nobody else had made their way into the hall to bear witness to our folly. Our secret failures were ours alone, that is until he reminded me that the halls have security cameras.

I said aloud, “They should feel honored, most people have to pay to watch a televised sporting event of Shoe-Got-You.”

😛

I went out to see the latest kiddie movie with my family the other night. It was Teen Titans Go and if you have ever enjoyed any of the TV episodes then you will feel right at home. My assessment of it, to put it mildly, is that it was exactly as the internet is calling it, an animated Deadpool copy with a PG rating.

What stuck in my mind, besides always thinking of boobies, was one of the trailers that had been shown just before the movie. It was Christopher Robin, the latest Winnie the Pooh sequel from Disney. From the trailer, I couldn’t but help catch a line of dialogue that went something like ‘Nothing is impossible, I do nothing every day’.

(Cheesy Grin)

So this begs the question, at what point is something good enough and by whose measure? Personally, when feasible and practical, I try not to exceed the 20%-80% rule (**when it isn’t critical).

I mean I could spend an extra ten minutes prewashing all my dishes before loading them into the dishwasher… or I could just set aside those few dishes that didn’t get clean enough aside upon unloading a finished cycle. Yes the grime on them will typically be stuck on but I’ve found that by simply submerging the trouble spot and allowing them to bask will work wonders. The next time I load the washer, I just pull out my scrubby pad and with a few quick swipes, get those stubborn spots to come free.

Walla.

20% of the initial effort is able to get done about 80% of the initial problem. Yes, the last 20% of the stubborn stuff required another 20% of effort but you still get the idea. I could have spent the remaining 80% in elbow grease getting the job completed initially but let’s be honest, don’t we all have better things to do with our time?

So… lazy or efficient?

Am I mastering the problem or am I letting the problem control time that could be spent on other things? I mean think of all the diabolical things I can do with that leftover 60%? I could help save a life and donate a pint of blood. I could conspire with my peers and build a stronger relationship, thus improving our mutual work environment. I could spend the time brushing up some of my skills or learning new ones.

Are idle hands something-something-something of the devil?

What about having too much time and feeling the need to fill it with intrusive snooping? I had a former supervisor go through my workstation and take notes so that she could find dirt on me. The sad lady thought she could find stuff to use against me. It ended up biting her in the ass but that’s another story.

Lost opportunities is the real crime here. Not being able to expand one’s horizon and accept that there are alternatives, some even being viable, to getting things done. Yes, some people have strange rituals that actually hurt efficiency but you have to consider how much of it is actually detrimental or just irritating? Are they really harming the big picture? Is listening to music ‘going to hurt workflow’ or just ‘another’ excuse to be a bitch?

We know the truth. Now go ahead and pack up… oh… Am I too late?

(Cheesy Grin)

DING DONG! The Dwight is Gone!

The smoke. I couldn’t tell you from source is worse, the drifting ash from the worst fires to grace the California landscape in all of recorded history, or the haze being generated from the various patrons surrounding me.

I’m sitting out on the back patio of the Powerhouse Pub in downtown Folsom where Pat Martin’s 30th-anniversary celebration is taking place. The music, a mix of popular 80’s music like Van Halen and Def Lepard, playing nostalgically.

Thirty years… I’m getting old. Pat Martin doesn’t remember but way back in 1989 I used to intern at the radio station for the long forgotten Pamela Roberts. It was a short-lived stint, Pam didn’t stay that long at the station and so my fledgling internship came to an end even before it really got started.

Who am I?

I’m a nobody.

I’m a fan.

Back in the late 80’s I used to have my own show at our high school radio station and so got it in my head that this was something I wanted to pursue. It wasn’t to last. I was the responsible kid that held a job, as a teller at a now-defunct bank, and had the salary to pay for the concert tickets and the taco bell for my friends. The friends I no longer have sitting here thirty years later by myself at an event all by myself.

My own wife, whom I didn’t know back in the day, chose not to attend as she had other responsibilities. She is a member of our kids PTA and elected to attend one of those meetings than to come here with me. She chose wisely.

As much as I was a quasi-metal head back in the days, I was also the responsible one. Did I mention that I was the sober driver? That’s the thing when you are the one with the car, you tend to not trust others with the keys after seeing how they act when under the influence of unmentionable substances. Yeah, I still had my fun. Releasing bottle rockets at night out of the window of a vehicle driving at 65 along highway 80 was awesome. That is until one of them just happened to fly its way back inside of our window and scare the shit out of us when it exploded.

Yeah, I’m the guy that sits on the edge of a crowded pub and elects to write his life while other people are living their lives out around me.

I’ve always been a people watcher.

I… enjoy it.

It also taught me how to poke back but that is another ongoing story that I’ve already gone over a number of times.

Walking the mall used to be one of my favorite past times, not because I was shopping, but because it allowed me to study the human animal in what could be deemed as a quasi-natural setting. I mean ‘chicks’ did get dolled up to ‘cruise’ the mall and check out the guys.

Am I any different?

Am I boring?

It’s 8:14 pm and people are already starting to leave. From my seat I overheard a couple discussing where they had parked and driving through a taco bell before picking up the kids as they have to get to work tomorrow.

I am exactly where I need to be.

This is a little something I came up after finding some downtime.

Action Jackson

The soapy naked dark-skinned man flailed as he dropped out of the magical portal. He let out a scream in surprise and doubled down with another as he struck the floor. His limbs sprawled out in every direction upon the filthy stones.
Galadin, the normally ever vigilant warrior, couldn’t resist glancing over at the middle-aged man. In doing so he had left himself vulnerable to his adversary. He was fortunate in that his adversary, the dark sorcerer Sarlock, had also been by surprise and so failed to take advantage of the knights tactical failing. Galadin turned back towards the evil caster and raised his sword and shield anew as he said, “Are you going to summon infants to fight for you next?”
Sarlock focused once more upon the warrior and sent another wave of electrical darts towards him. He shouted out towards Samuel saying, “I summoned you! I now command you to fight this wretched knight for me!”
The naked moaned as he tried regaining his footing. He caught sight of the two figures battling one another and said, “What the fuck! What in the hell is going on here?”
Sarlock the caster cried out, “Yes my summoned minion, I command you to kill this accursed knight!”
Galadin kept his shield up to absorb the magical darts but managed to get a few blade lunges in towards Sarlock. None of them found their mark. From behind his shield, he glanced back towards the naked man and said to the caster, “It would appear that you have upset your masters in hell and they have sent you him as an insult.”
Now steady on his feet, the naked man said, “Where the fuck am I?” Without waiting for a response he blurted out towards the knight, “Wait. What? Are you saying I’m here as some sort of punishment to that fucker?” He shook his head and brought his hands up before his eyes and started pushing in on them. “Tainted weed. That’s gotta be it. I’m still in the shower and am having some fucked up hallucination!” He cried out to the AEther, “LaTanya! Can you hear me?”
Galadin went on the offense again and made another lung. This time caught the sorcerer on his side. The sorcerer let out a scream of pain but didn’t go down. Instead, he stumbled backward and let off a more darts with renewed vigor. The sorcerer cried out to Samuel, “I command that you kill this knight!”
The naked man snapped back from glancing up at the domed room’s ceiling. “Hey motherfucker, I ain’t your bitch. Fuck that!” He crossed his arms, “Fucking hallucination is thinking it can order me around. I need to get out of here.”
Sarlock snapped back, “Only I can return you back from which you came!”
The naked man had a split second to weigh the levity of that statement. “So you brought me here? And you are saying you can get me home again?” He mumbled under his breath, “Provided this is all just a bad trip…” He shouted aloud, “Sure, why the fuck not.”
Galadin made another jab at the sorcerer and this too found its mark. Sarlock again yelled out in pain.
The naked man started stepping towards the knight as the knight gave up his advance to protect his flank. The knight said, “My fight is not with you naked man.”
Samuel paused his advance seeing how the knight’s blade was now waiving in his direction. It looked more real than any hallucination he could ever recall as he noted the notches and scrapes along the edge of the blade.
The knight said with affirmation, “Do not listen to the vile caster, he will say anything to save his wretched life. He has escaped my blade too many times in the past, but not today.” He gave a small shake to his blade. “Do not foil my geas.”
Samuel glanced down at his own empty hands and said back to the knight saying, “Would you strike an unarmed man? Now if I had a blade of my own.” Inspiration struck as he blurted out, “Like my light-saber.” He felt his right hand constrict of its own volition around something cylindrical. He glanced down and saw that in his hand he now had his movie prop light-saber.
Galadin seemed to note the sudden appearance of the item as his posture changed. He said, “What foul magic is this?” Without waiting for a reply he blurted out, “You are a demon from the hells after all.” He adjusted his footing and swung in a giant cleave.
Samuel lifted his handle and pressed the button along its side. The energy blade sprung to life. Galadin’s blade struck against the column of energy and split asunder. The severed end half, still working under the laws of physics, struck Samuel along the side of his body. Luckily it was the flat of the blade. This sent him reeling. He lost his grip on his saber and struck his head against the stone floor. Samuel’s presence in itself was starting to fade thanks to the blow as Samuel thought to himself, Oh good, maybe this fucked up trip will be over and I’ll come back too on the floor of my shower.
That didn’t happen. His vision started coming back into focus as he saw the sorcerer cast a spell and ensnare the knight in a mess of white strands that resembled a giant web. The sorcerer let out a cry of glee. “I’ve got you now!” The sorcerer looked over in Samuel’s direction and noted the saber handle on the floor.
Samuel started to crawl his way towards the weapon but hadn’t regained enough motor control to reach it before the caster. The caster picked it up as Samuel struggled once more to his feet and said, “Hey motherfucker, that’s my light-saber. Hands off. Nobody touches my saber.”
Sarlock tilted his head towards the side, “You use that word a lot, ‘Motherfucker’. Is that the name of your master? My spell obviously went rogue.” He flicked the switch and the blade came to life. “From which realm did I pluck you out of?”
Samuel straightened his footing and said, “Ain’t nobody my master… cept my wife.”
Sarlock didn’t seem to hear Samuel’s response as his focus was still on the blade, “Interesting.” He made a quick lunge toward Samuel. Much to Samuel’s relief it was but a feint. “It weighs almost nothing yet has the ability to cleave steel.” He started towards the encased knight, “I want to see it do it again.”
The knight shouted out towards Samuel, “Are you a minion of hell?” Samuel shook his head. “Are you a vile creature of blackness?” Samuel again shook his head but he wasn’t entirely sure where this was going seeing how he was buck naked and everyone could see his skin. The knight pleaded, “Save me and I will owe you a life debt!”
Knowing this wasn’t the time or place to say his thoughts, but also hoping this was all a really bad trip, he did anyway. “You mean like Chewbacca? A life debt?”
The Knights head bobbed in a way that indicated he had no idea what a Chewbacca was but he wasn’t going to question it. “Yes I will owe you a Chewbarker”
Sarlock scoffed as he glanced back over towards Samuel again. “He weapon resides in my hand. He poses no threat.” He scoffed again, “Besides, that wasn’t even the word he used. ‘Chewbarker’?” He brought the energy blade up to the knight’s face.
Samuel said, “Excuse me but for how long have you two motherfuckers been trying to kill one another?”
The knight answered with an elevated tone, “It’s been over forty moons.”
The energy blade was throwing arcs that licked at the sweat on the knight’s face. Samuel said, “Over what exactly?”
Sarlock didn’t bother looking away from the knight as he said, “What does it matter? In a few breaths, he will be dead, and all your questions will be for naught.”
Samuel could see the dried blood on the knight’s forehead from where the blood in the veins had boiled and erupted out from under the skin. The caster gave a chuckle. Samuel said, “Okay I am definitely getting the evil vibe off of this motherfucker.” He asked the knight, “So what is your story knight?”
The knight blurted out, “I fight for the righteous. I fight for those who cannot defend themselves. I fight for justice.” He shouted at the caster, “I will hunt you even in death.”
Samuel said aloud, “So cliché…” The caster faced away from the knight to give him a quizzical look. Samuel addressed the caster, “So it was your ass that pulled me into this trippy ass nightmare.” The caster’s eyelids narrowed some as if he was pondering killing Samuel to shut his ass up. Samuel caught on to the look and added. “So that means you can get me back home?”
The caster gave a self-indulgent smile. “Yes. I can put you back where you belong.”
The casters particular word choice was not lost on Samuel. “So, that kind of puts me at your mercy.”
Sarlock gave another quick chuckle and faced the knight again. “Yes, yes it does.”
Samuel gave a heavy sigh. “And I hope you both know I’m still hoping this is all some fucked up trip. But, even though I’m hoping you both are all just figments, I can’t allow you to kill this knight guy in cold blood.”
Sarlock pulled the blade away from the knight’s face and brought it to bear on Samuel. Samuel, weaponless as he was, knew his next line. He brought his hand up and pointed at the blade as he said, “Oh no, you’re holding a mother fucking snake in your mother fucking hand!”
The light of the saber blinked out of existence and was replaced but the dull sheen of dark green and black along its topside and a scaled white along its underside. The caster had no idea what he was holding onto. Until its length went limp and its head, which he was holding, sank its teeth into the meat of his palm. The caster cried out released the serpent. The snake slapped against the stone floor and curled itself up with its head poised as if to strike again.
Samuel didn’t try to pursue the caster as he backed away with a crazed and bewildered look on his face. The caster fled down the staircase to the level below.
The snake took it upon itself to slither away as the knight said, “You have saved my life.” He gave a heavy exhale adding, “And now I owe you mine in return.” He watched as the snake found its way under a bookshelf. Addressing Samuel, “From where do you come?”
Samuel, looked his naked ass over before saying, “I’m pretty sure my ass is curled up on the bottom of my shower?”
The knight said with confusion in his voice, “So have come from the realm of shower?”
“You probably have no idea what a bathroom is? That means no toilets?” A sense of dread came over him. “And nothing to wipe your ass’s with?” What stung more was realizing his stay here might not be as short as he had hoped. With apathy, he replied, “Sure, why the fuck not.” He had a flashback to a favorite movie of his which starred Louis Gossett Jr. and said, “All Hail the House of the Mouse.”
Galadin said, “You have magic like I have never seen before.”
“Yeah, it’s a special form of green magic.”
“You are a druid? That would explain your lack of garments.”
Being reminded of his exposure Samuel began glancing around the room for something to adorn. “I wouldn’t put that much thought into all this.”
The knight said in a muted tone. “You, you do not sound confident of magic?”
Not spotting anything, Samuel instead reached out with his index finger and touched the white residue covering the knight. “I’m not even sure why I’m here.”
“Did Sarlock not pull you out from the realm of Shower? Did you strike your head too hard on the stones?”
“Not hard enough.” He pulled his hand away but a tendril of the substance was attached to the end of his finger. “So how do I get you out of this?”
“It will dissolve on its own in a short period of time.” Galadin cleared his throat, “So you are not from Hell?”
“Hollywood, kinda the same.”
“Your tone, you made it sound like it is most vile.”
Samuel turned away and looked over the room again hoping to find something not filthy to adorn himself in. “Is everything as dirty as it smells here?”

FULL DISCLAIMER… I’m a geek/nerd/dork

I’ve been following the James Gunn ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’ fiasco that has gotten the director fired. I agree with the Dave Bautista when he addressed the CyberNazis issue. Yes, Gunn has done things wrong in the past. Yes, he has become more of an enlightened person since those events. HE HAS GROWN THE FUCK UP. (I haven’t)*

*(still trying to though)

So when is it okay for a supervisor to shame employees? When is it okay for employees to gang up on an innocent supervisor?

The answer is never.

Yes, we all can say stupid things at the wrong time. Michael Scott from TV’s ‘The Office’ is infamous for some of these things. One key difference is that Michael Scott was never mean-spirited. Even a fictional character, flawed as he is, doesn’t mean to do any harm. Another thing is the TV show is supposed to be a comedy. They are doing the outlandish because it is outlandish.

Kinda makes sense.

James Gunn was trying to do the outlandish because he was pulling a Michael Scott.

In my prior employer situation, the management is convinced that every single employee is fabricating our side. I don’t know what to say other than ‘Wake the F-up’ I mean if it walks like a duck and shits like a duck then it has to be DUCKING TRUE.

The TV show is supposed to be a comedy – Real life isn’t.

Good for you Dave Bautista

Good for you Bobcat Goldthwait.

Good for you Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, and others.

Yes, I signed the petition – https://www.change.org/p/marvel-re-hire-james-gunn

Strength in numbers. Strength through unity. All it takes a single supervisory turd to ruin ‘The Office’ punch bowl.

Learning from one’s mistakes is what makes us better human beings. (COME CLEAN DWIGHT!)

Burring our heads in the sand makes us the monsters we wish not to see. (Got your head up your Dwight Hole?)

Peace out 🙂

Wow…

Back in the day, when I saw the original “Unbreakable”, I was awestruck at the way the movie played out. To put it simply, it spoke to me. No, not in a perverted way, rather in the way that all of us strive to believe in the ‘something more’ in place of the bleak reality we find ourselves in. The antagonists singular focus, which was only brought into the light during the final minutes of the film, brought back the same sense of awe that I had experienced with “The Sixth Sense” and before that with “The Usual Suspects”. Bravo.

I just recently watched the movie “Split” (same director) and went in ignorant to its connection with the prior movie above. Bravo.

What I witnessed back then, which has come full circle thanks to more recent events in my life, is that evil has a way of not seeing itself in that way. It lives off of the traits of denial, delusion, and self-affirmation to keep itself blind to the reality that the rest of us are witness too. I mean Hitler was only doing the what was best for Germany, right? I mean according to him, ‘the Jews were lazy and good-for-nothing parasites’ on his unit.. er.. country.

Yeah, you read that dwigh… er… right.

I can’t wait to see the Mr. Glass when it comes out.

🙂

The thing about glass locations still rings true… you reap what you sow.

It could be more…?

I’m just fiddling around right now before work.

The kids have another month before heading back to school.

(I can’t wait)

Yeah, yeah… I know.

NEVER WISH YOUR LIFE AWAY.

***

“Dude, that’s disgusting.”

Randy looked away from his hand that had been digging his hot fries through his strawberry shake and gave her a look. “Disgusting?” He shoved the double-wide dipped fries into his mouth and said, “Saiys youw?” He gave a few quick chomps and swallowed before adding, “The queen of liquification? The smells that come out of your blender puts sewers to shame.”

She gave him the look. The look that said he was entering couch sleeping territory. He felt himself smirking cause he had always liked how the couch felt. It was one of the things that had to stay when they had agreed to move in together after college. As he pushed his tongue out he felt bits of chewed food brush against his lips. “Gorgeous,” she said.

He gave his signature chuckle as his brows narrowed back at her.

With a bit of a scowl, she then added, “Lipstick on a pig.”

Are you still reading this? I know I’ve been negligent in updating my site but am I doing it for you or for myself? It’s my site about my writings and a sprinkling of personal things. Its genesis is based upon fiction, or is it?

July 19th