January 25 2018

International MILF’ing Duty

So tonight im working one of the booths during international night at my kids school.

As im looking over the crowd i cant but help notice all the milfs coming in with their husbands. All the men, at least to my MILF’ing standards, look to be several rungs further down on the fugly scale.

Then it hits me.

My wife is also hot…

January 15 2018

Hello 2018

Wow, its been almost three weeks since I posted something. Either I’ve been lazy or I’ve been busy. Honestly, it’s been a bit of both. Remember that crack robot game I mentioned earlier? Well… (sheepish grin)… I’ve been kinda busy (hey its been real things too).

 

Let me catch you all up on what’s new.

 

I got another new job. This one is a staff position, which is another step up, and it’s much closer to home. I’m going to start a week from today and it has me working four ten hour shifts which means I’m going to get a three day weekend every week. Hello awesome! The only bad part is I’m going to have to work Friday through Monday which means my family weekend time is going to be limited. What is good about it however, is that I’m going to be able to take some real classes on Tuesday and Thursdays after getting the kids to school. Another perk is I’m going to be available to help out at my old unit since I’ve now officially a steward.

😛

 

 

What else… I’m looking to buy myself a brand new car. My existing car, while fully functional, is 12 years old. I’ve been itching to get something new. I started looking at the Honda Fit but then changed gears towards the Civic hatchback. The ‘trim’ or package I’m looking for, as of my calling the 20 closest dealers around Sacramento CA, which included the bay area and northern Nevada, resulted in no dealers having what I wanted. This means I’m going to play the wait and see when comes in game while just saving up more money.

 

As to writing? I’m still doing it but don’t foresee myself having the same time I used to as I have enrolled myself into 3 classes over the spring semester. I’m attempting to (re)sharpen up my server admin skills from how they’ve been rotting out these last four years at that armpit of a job I had under the ‘Macho Dwight’ regime. No Dwight isn’t macho unless you consider her mustache as macho.

 

Well, that’s it for now…

 

Tootles!

 

 

December 26 2017

Smell that? (Random Story)

The smell reminded him of old band aids and not in a fresh from the box sort of way. It was the kind of nasty you could only find upon taking off a ripe six week old cast that had been worn while trekking across the entire span of the American southwest during summer.

Gunther kept focusing on breathing through his mouth. He pushed his arm down in order to stabilize the wobbly kitchen table that looked to have been purchased back in the 1960’s. The design of the tables surface was so god awful he contemplated closing his eyes so he could block that from his mind as well. He couldn’t, she had sheers and he didn’t want to come away from this with anything less than he was expecting to lose.

The woman beside him slid the tip of the shears down the length of the cast. “Just think, another few minutes and you will be free of this thing.” Dr. Madox’s eyes met his and said, “Did you want to keep it, you know… as a memento?”

Gunther shook his head as he could feel his lips curling up in an involuntary sneer, “Uh, no thanks.”

She laughed, “Oh sure, you say that now-.” She inched the tip of the large cutting shears further down the length of his cast. “But come the day after next, when you wake up in the middle of the night realizing how much you could have sold the thing for on eBay…”

His sneer sharpened, “Please tell me you’re kidding with me.”

She answered by speaking to the air as if she was talking only within her head, “If I can convince him to leave it then I could sell it and keep the money.”

“Eewww… This thing reeks to high heaven.”

She met his gaze again, “Yes, mostly. You would be surprised at some of the fetishes there are out there. Two girls, one-”

He turned his head away, “Okay, enough already.”

“Oh, so you do know what I’m talking about?”

Without making direct eye contact he said to her, “Do you treat all your patients with this kind of bedside behavior?”

She laughed, “Oh don’t go pushing this off on me. It’s your twisted brother’s fault. I swear I would be just happy reading my latest smut novel in peace. But no, he rolls my way and shows me all the stuff he’s finding on his nightstand surfing pad. Two donkeys, one-”

Gunther blurted out, “Stop! He’s yours now. I don’t need the play-by-play of your nighttime activities in bed.”

Her brows came together, “Why all the sudden modesty? I mean you’re the older sibling. The stuff he tells me you showed him.”

Gunther shook his arm, “Can we keep this professional so I don’t have to go and report you or something.”

Her back stiffened, “What crawled up your butt?” Her eyes widened as she leaned towards the shears again, “Ahh, two midgets, one-”

Gunther began shaking his wrist, “Hello. Focus. Here and now please?” He then felt a sudden piercing pain and wished he hadn’t shook his forearm so feverishly. He had let out an involuntary yelp of pain.

“Did I get you?” She pulled back on the shears and saw the tip had a snip of flesh. “Looks like I did.”

Groaning, “I’ll have you know I’m not paying for this.”

She grumbled, “Just so long as you leave the cast here…”

December 19 2017

59,700 @ 98% of StarBabe is now written

I just took the time to break apart my latest fragment of StarBabe and did the number count. I’m still working on the very last chapter/epilogue right now and have been struggling with which direction I want things to end on. I think I’m going to have to get some outside opinions on the thing and just sketch out the two different draft versions for people to read.

I guess this means I’m going to have start cleaning this thing in order to make it presentable.

 

The Supreme Leader is dead, long live the Supreme Leader (in second draft).

December 19 2017

McScUse Me?

So this morning I walk into a local McDonalds to get some writing done before I head across town to my job. I like to wake up early and get my wordsies out early as I find I tend to get dumber/lazier throughout the day. Its just how my mind works and I’ve come to accept it. So I get in line and wait my turn for the cashier when a homeless person

*(is it wrong to say ‘man’ or if it was a male or a female? PC is so wrong. Let me just say it was an elderly Chinese lesbian with a hook for a left hand who is high as a kite and hope I’ve insulted everyone evenly enough. It wasn’t, but this is my ‘story’ so I can say whatever I want)

So as I’m standing there in line this person comes up to me and asks that I buy them something. I feel gullible and say “Sure, I’ll buy you a burrito.” I was going to buy myself a burrito and a tea so adding another dollar burrito isn’t that much of a deal. He then says, “I was hoping for an egg mcmuffin* (I honestly don’t remember exactly what he said but again, my story, bite me).  I look at him thinking ‘mother flipper, you ain’t going to eat better than me on my dime’. Then when the lady working the counter is finished with her existing customer she steps back to grab the next completed order tray and says to the homeless person next to me, “Your order is ready.”

Really?

I look at that tray and notice he already has three food items, that’s two more than I was going to order for myself. The homeless person then goes over to collect the tray and I do my best to ignore them. I then get my chance to place my order which now consisted of having but a single burrito. Having completed my order and turning away I see the same homeless person standing there with no tray in hand asking about the burrito I was originally going to buy for him. I reply to him while pointing at his tray over on the nearby table, “You already have your food.”

Am I a cold-hearted bastard? I think not. I hope not…

Dwight-les…(Tootles alteration for this particular story)

😛

 

December 18 2017

The Last Jedi

Sooo… who saw it this last weekend?

(raises hand with a wiggling buttock that resembles an urgent need to use the restroom)

 

I know I did.

 

I don’t want to get into any spoilers so I’ll keep it as general as possible.

Man it sucked that they killed that person. Oh, wait, they didn’t…. or did they?

Do you feel like I’ve ruined something? Have I spoiled some event in the story or have I merely said something that has been done before? Like for instance… the millennium falcon swooshing through a narrow space and avoiding much smaller trailing tie fighters in pursuit? Oh wait, that’s been done before too. Yeah, that happened. Hopefully, since it’s been done before, it’s not that much of a spoiler.

Curmudgeon time -> Why do they keep having to recycle plot devices over and over in these movies? If the Force Awakens was a rehash of A New Hope then this movie was nothing more than a blundering (yes I said blundering) of both tESB and RofJ. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed 2/3’s of the movie. The other middle third was kind of a bore as it was a rehash of cloud city in a way, or at least it was to me. Yeah, another example of plot recycling.

Again I’m not trying to ruin anything so I’m not getting that specific.

Still… I enjoyed the rest of the movie just fine, even through all the blatant recycling. Watching Kenny from South Park die again in this movie seemed a bit cliche but once you see the movie you will get the reference and which character I’m talking about. I’m fully expecting “Kenny” to show up in episode IX unscathed.

Alright, I guess that’s enough for now.

 

TOOTLES ya’all.

December 12 2017

Robot Crack

Way back in the day, nerdier high school years and the few following, I was really into playing role-playing games such as dungeons and dragons and Battletech. Yeah… I was a geek. Does it show? So jump ahead a few years and let’s go visit the America Live establishment on K street during the winter of 1993. I was back home over Xmas from being in the Army and some of my friends had taken me there as a welcoming home thing. Well as it turns out what they hadn’t told me was that they had a Battletech pod location there. For twenty glorious minutes I got to pilot a Mad Cat mech in all its awesome outer-sphere gloriousness. I was a god. That is until the game ended and I got my score card which showed me as having 5 kills to 4 deaths. Not a very godly ratio but I scored above 500 so that has to count for something, right? I still have that battle scorecard up in my attic along with all my other books and not touched in some time other geeky memoirs.

Oh, and… “Hi Dwight”

(I know you like to watch[READ] like the perv at the window)

*(I can’t believe some of the stuff people put on the internet)*

BOOBIES. I LIKE BOOBIES.

(I also really like pineapple… wait… pineapple flavored boobies?)

I AM WHO I AM and you… are a Dwight.

*

Anyway… I recently discovered an android game called War Robots and let me tell you, on my phone and tablet, it takes me right back to those awesome 1993 graphics in all polygon boxes. The android game actually looks better than the original Battletech game but this is my memory/story so suck it.

I’ve been playing this thing like a crack whore over the past week or so.

I know it will lose its fancy soon enough but still… the pixelated crack… it burns with such nerdy passion.

Now I still got in some words yesterday morning and today (does this also blog count?) I’ve now reached the last(?) chapter of my book where I’m having one of the surviving characters being brought out of a medically induced coma to have the outcome explained to them. Yeah, I know what your thinking, riveting stuff talking about writing about a person in a coma. Sarcasm is self-evident. Only I haven’t told you who or where or under what conditions they find themselves in. So it’s not much of a spoiler. Still can’t say it’s any more interesting (more self-deprecating sarcasm).

Okay, it’s now 7:10 and I got to start polishing this bloggy off and heading over to work.

(Looks at time on cell phone) Is it crack-thirty yet?

 

😛

 

December 6 2017

So my wife and I were talking…

…in between all the interruptions from the kids and in our conversation tried to come up with the antonym to the word narcissist. We couldn’t come up with one. According to “http://www.thesaurus.com/browse/narcissistic” it’s Outgoing, Unselfish, and Sacrificing.

The actual definition of narcissism is

1. Inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity.
2. Psychoanalysis. erotic gratification derived from admiration of one’s own physical or mental attributes, being a normal condition at the infantile level of personality development.

These people, whoever they might be, are at least in my personal interpretation, a cancer on civilized society.

it was during our conversation that another word came up, this being paranoia. The definition of it is “a mental condition characterized by delusions of persecution, unwarranted jealousy, or exaggerated self-importance, typically elaborated into an organized system. It may be an aspect of chronic personality disorder, of drug abuse, or of a serious condition such as schizophrenia in which the person loses touch with reality.”

It’s funny how similar paranoia and narcissism are when you think about it.

I would like to say more but I’ve got to get back to saving the Universe with my StarBabe story as only I can do it because I am the most gifted talented awesomist gooderist biggerist most magnificent story teller there is.

😛

Yeah, a little bit of ego is a good thing. Too much and you can drive your mental stability over the cliff into the land of delusion.

[Beep Beep!!]

 

***

 

Bonus time

 

http://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20981393,00.html#what-is-narcissism-exactly–0