May 26 2016

Damn Woman!

I pride myself on telling the truth. I would even say that I go so far as to do myself harm by how honest I am. Here goes continuing this time-honored tradition.

Damn!

The woman who got off the train from the seat in front of me was a schwinging hotty. My attention, mental and physical, is still on her and she left twenty minutes ago.

I love my wife but I still have this woman in my mind. I’m thinking I am going to need to do a little purging when I get home.

Now for the record, I have always been a faithful man, much to my own detriment. Why detriment you say? Well, I was a virgin until I was nearly 22 in age. I had chances earlier but elected not to take for fear of ruining my life before it even got started. The last thing I wanted to do was raise a kid before I was done being one myself. I sometimes wonder that had I been homosexual that I wouldn’t have been as conservative minded as I was.

What is also interesting is that over my 23 years of active service I have had a total of two sexual partners. Yeah, I’m kind of a square. Let me also say I have been divorced once and have married twice. You do the math. I am faithful to a “T”. Again probably to my own detriment.

I am no saint, far from it. I just made decisions willingly and stand by those choices. I am a man of conviction… and right now a serious boner. My god she was hot. I am but a man made of weak flesh.

God, I hope I can convince the wife to help me get my head straight later tonight. I love her. I know I can control my actions but am powerless against the thoughts.

Have I bored you yet? Ready for the real kicker here? I have gotten genital warts before and it was from a man. Yep, you read that right. Why would I make something like that up? So here is the “juice” of it. I was in the army, it was basic training, and as you can imagine we had some real asshole enlistees. As far as I can figure one of the bastards decided to refold his nasty underwear and place it in my clean drawer. With basic training as it is, sleep deprivation and having to get up at the crack of 4am, one does not spend the time inspecting their undergarments before dawning them to go out and run your 2 miles.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Grossed out yet? I’m not. I’m still thinking of that woman.

– GGrrrrrr-ootles

May 26 2016

Somethings to say….

I woke up today an hour earlier in hopes of getting some stuff done. I did some small stuff like a bit of minor cleaning and throwing some small and neglected kid stuff away. I can’t throw anything away while they are awake because they will catch me. Not so much my daughter so much as my son. He is addicted to trash and trash like accessories. Do I sound a little like Hank Hill from the animated television series? That is somewhat intentional.

Something else was I was going to try and do some writing, which didn’t happen :(. I have to do some big brain thinking about how I’m going to merge the information from some chapters around and try and not disturb my timeline too much. Sadly that didn’t happen. I think my mind just wasn’t awake enough yet. Okay, I admit it, I got in a good couple of rounds in MOO4 this morning :).

I was also supposed to move some files from one-half filled memory card over to another half filled memory card in hopes of having one now full and one now empty. This doesn’t sound like its too difficult but since my primary gaming machine at the moment is a net-book I didn’t want to tax the CPU anymore than I had to from my game. So that didn’t get done either.

So here I sit on the train, transferring files around as my brain is a bit more lucid and typing away. Hey would you look at that, It’s done with the transfer. It took 25 minutes and I still haven’t gotten a whole lot written.

Something else I noticed while sitting here is just how much people are creatures of habit. I must admit that I do enjoy sitting along the right side of the train as it allows me to use my right hand for typing as my left is wedged in against the person to my left and is not conducive to being hitched outward for typing. The hitching outward tends to poke that somebody on my left into the ribs and that is just rude. Today I am sitting on the left side of the train, no biggie as right now I’m heading into work so it isn’t that crowded. What is funny however is just how territorial other people are when it comes to their favorite seats. I tend to like to be left alone, introverts raise a hand (*up*). I see people purposely wedging themselves in between others just so they can sit as close to their favorite spot as possible even if that means ignoring an entirely open bench in favor of nestling up next to somebody directly in their spot. I’ve been riding this train for over two years now and know these people’s habits. This is why the human race is doomed. We litter, we are greedy, we repetitive, we just don’t care.

Sitting across from me is an older man who works just one block from where the train drops everyone off. He walks fast, and I mean fast. I would, in fact, say he walks just as fast as I do. Mind you I’m not trying to race him so much as I have a natural speedy walk. Anyway, this guy doesn’t use his head mirrors at all when walking. What I mean is he assumes he is the fastest thing out there and acts accordingly. In the past, because of train positioning, I have gotten off before him, and like a good samaritan, I clear some distance between myself and train before stopping and pulling out my phone or doing some other mindless activity. This guy, passing me by, no big deal mind you, zooms along like he is the only guy on the sidewalk. Finishing with my activity I start walking again on my way into work. This geezer, not realizing that I have been catching up to him, does the whole lane change right in front of me and cause me to put on my brakes because he isn’t courteous enough to glance around before making unpredictable momentum changes. The first time he did this I gave him a startled “Hello there” to alert him to cutting me off. He didn’t look back. The second time he cut me off I was more prepared for it this time, I made sure I kicked a tree twig on the ground, up into his footing which caused him to trip himself up a bit. He, of course, turned his head that time to see what had happened. Then he just continued on as if that something was a nothing and went about his business.

Right now he is asleep and looking as if he is going to tumble forward and down onto my laptop. Maybe this is all some part of his revenge plan? Who knows. I knew I should have brought my uglier net-book today instead of my nicer one. Hey, he just woke up. I don’t see any drool, just curmudgeon.

So… how many words is all this? Pausing to check here. 850-ish. Not bad I just realized the time, its 6:55. The train is a bit late and I have three more stops until I and senior grumpy need to get off. I figured out who he reminds me off. Charlie Sheen’s show Anger Management has a crusty old man whose name escapes me at the moment. This guy reminds me of him. I have never spoken to this guy but that is just the vibe I am imagining. Two stops left now.

Okay, I’m done. Checking again…. 950 🙂

– Tootles ya all

May 25 2016

The good & the ugly

So I started working on day 11 and you know what?

This is where i imagine you saying… “What”

Well I’ll tell you. It turns out day 11, & 12 cause I looked ahead, also need to be merged into my day 10 mess. The good part is since I got my timeline (mostly) straightened out, as seen in yesterday’s excel sheet upload, it shouldn’t be that mentally taxing. It will still require some cerebral resources but just not as much as I hope it wont.

That is it for now…

– mixoodles

May 24 2016

A dog licking its testicles

Yes, that is my exciting life. Or rather my exciting writing life. Today I started up on again on my Sup-Her story and the scene called for a security person fighting with his dog polishing his balls to no end.

Yesterday I spent my free time working on my latest Tony E. Milf story (to get me in the mood… of writing again), today I got back in the saddle after giving myself a week off to give myself a nerdgasm.

I’m getting the feeling I’m starting to repeat myself with my topics here.

Hey, I wrote about a dog licking its testicles.

He does it over and over again.

– Repeat-oodles

 

 

May 23 2016

Tony E. Milf

Tony E. Milf

2016-05-23

“In your unique face” (That’s what she said)

Over this past weekend my wife’s oldest friend came to visit us. She lives about 6-7 hours away by car. She is married and has two kids of her own, a boy around the age of 14 and her daughter who is 11. She left her husband and son behind and brought her daughter along for the trip.

They spent a good part of Friday driving up here and so by the time I got home from being at work that day they had been at our house for just about an hour. My wife worked from home that day and so was already on the couch chatting it up with Susie with a glass of wine in each of their hands.

It was decided that dinner was going to happen and so the dreaded question was asked and directed towards each of us once more. “What do you want for dinner?” My kids, age nine and five, being obstinate little bastards they are, mine are, say they hate whatever it is the other suggests, and offer no compromising ideas.

Us “adults” decide we are going to just order a couple of pizzas so that way they can either pick off what they don’t like or starve of their own volition. I call the order in, my wife hates making orders on the phone, and am told its going to be about 35 minutes until the order is ready for pickup. I hate getting it delivered as it is always late and luke warm by the time they bring it to you and on top of that they charge you for this luxury. I know pizza guys, having been one once twenty years ago, tend to make 2-3 stops on each of their runs. I know that even if you are lucky enough to be the first house on the stop that doesn’t mean your pizza spent some time cooling off after being taken out of the oven as the driver had to wait for the other orders to come out as well.

No sooner than I hang up the phone does my wife inform me we are out of wine. By the use of “we” she means her and her friend as I have never been much of a wine drinker. She asks that I stop by the grocery store and pick up a six pack on my way to get the pizzas to which I agree. She then says “Oh by the way I have a check that needs depositing as well.” Being the diligent husband I am I tell her I can drop that off as well since the bank is right next door to the grocery store. I do some quick mental math and realize I need to leave now if I am going to be there at the 35 minute mark to hand pick up my hot pizzas before they get a chance to cool.

I stop by the bank to make the deposit and hit the grocery store and arrive at the pizza parlor at the 30 minute mark with an anticipatory smile on my face. Twenty minutes later I’m leaving with my hot pizzas that were late getting in the oven. At least they are hot, right?

Once home I start pulling out the plates from the cupboard and asking everyone who doesn’t already have a drink in hand what they would like to drink. I start passing out plates and glasses to everyone sitting down at the couch and then take my own seat with them. That is when I notice their issues in getting something to play on Netflix. I get up from my still hot enough pizza to go find my Chromebook and search for a site that lists what kid’s movies are available right now on Netflix. I then pass it over to my wife so she can look it over as I start devouring my pizza. Not exactly saving the titanic from sinking type behavior but I do what I can to get the job done.

Saturday rolls around. I take the three kids to go catch a movie while the women folk do their thing which in my mind is a secret lesbian thing. The movie just happens to be “Angry Birds”, yes shoot me now. So the movie is over and I take the kids back home and let them do their thing while I try and do some picking up around the house. Unfortunately my picking up is at a slower pace than their pulling out stuff and trampling it and then abandoning it before moving onto the next thing. Yes I am exaggerating about my lengthy four inch penis here, just a little, if you catch my double entendre.

A few hours go by and I get a text from the wife. They walked their way over to a local tavern and have been winning their day away. They suggest I take the kids over and meet them there. My car seats four individuals, my wife’s seats five. For those of you who are caught up on your math, everyone included brings our numbers up to six. We get there and I do my best to keep the kids entertained yet also get some words in edgewise with the women. A couple of tantrums erupt over the little ones not getting their way and my wife leans over to say “Tony, you are making an ass of yourself.” I kid, she didn’t lean over to tell me that, I just got the look.

We have dinner and then it’s time to get going. It’s soon decided that I am going to take the two older girls with me back home and my son is going to walk all the way back with the moms. I volunteer to drop the 11 and 9 year old at home and come back for them but they say it’s not necessary. My perverse mind is now thinking they want to have more intimate time but with my five year old isn’t that going to be awkward? I mean he can’t keep up to their pace and likes to stop a lot and complain. I tell them I will have my phone ready should they want me to come get them. An hour later they show up and by now it’s close to 9pm. I help my kids do some cleaning up and start getting ready for bed.

Sunday morning rolls around and I get up before everyone else because my body is trained to do just that. I get up at 5am because of work and so find it difficult to sleep in even when I get the chance to do so. I knew my wife’s friend wanted to hit the road at around 9am so I had a bit of time to cook a simple breakfast. 8 o’clock rolls around and I head into the kitchen to start on the muffin mix, bacon, and eggs. I then go and wake up my wife and kids and a half hour later we are all eating breakfast and getting ready to say goodbye to our guests.

After they leave my wife comes in to tell me her friend wanted me to thank you for her. I ask how so? She says for all that I did. Her response was that she told my wife she lucked out and got ‘one of the good ones.’

That is nice to hear but I think it would have rather heard it to my face. I understand that not everybody is comfortable with being honest. Some people are shy, I get it. I just have a strong belief that actions speak louder than words. You can tell something until the cows come home but that isn’t going to make be believe you until I see some sort of effort. You know, words are cheap, actions speak volumes. The least you can do is say it to my face.

This of course now brings me back to expectations versus reality. Being a dork, which most guys are, I tend to make hidden jokes around my wife and kids that are meant for just her to grasp and soar completely over the kid’s heads. For instance my girl likes to say “This one time-” to which I, when I think about it, like to insert “-at band camp.” My wife gets angry with me and tells me this is inappropriate behavior. I think its three simple words “at, band, camp” and nothing more. You can take what you want out of it as the receiver. If you choose to think these three words are offensive then that is on you and not on me. My kids, being angelically ignorant, at least in my eyes, have no grasp yet on the more subtle meaning. I think of it as multi-level, or Simpson-esc humor, which has been going on since the beginning of time. Kids don’t know and until they do know they don’t care. The day will come when they do know for at least for now that day isn’t today. My wife always says “What if they look it up on the internet?” to which I reply “Why would they bother looking up those three stupid words unless you make so much of a big deal out of it that it creates an interest in doing so.

She doesn’t see it that way

-That’s what she said.

Anyway, getting back on topic. It’s nice to think that others think nice things of you. I also understand that I shouldn’t base my personal value of myself upon what others think of me regardless was going to keep on doing what I’m doing because I think it’s right.

– David Koresh (not really but I hope you see the underlining message here)

See…

Everything is wrong even when you think it’s right. There are no real villains as the world is just full of unique protagonists all thinking they are doing the right thing.

So where am I going with all this? My wife thinks she is doing what is right. I’m doing what I think is right. My kids, selfish little bastards, are doing what they think is best for them in their immediate future. It’s all a big game of self-preservation and neglect.

You see for as much as I try and do right by my wife and kids I’m sure I’m also missing something and doing something wrong. I mean why else would we have such an elaborate mental health industry in this country to deal with unresolved issues from our lives?

I don’t feel like I’m getting what I want.

Do I become an ass and force my opinion onto others or do I just suck it up and do the best with what I have? Do I become my own protagonist only to become somebody else’s villain? Is that how I want to live my life? The answer is simple, at least to me. This is not the life I want to live by. In my fantastical mind my wife knows me and knows what it takes to love me in the way I need to feel loved. I do what I can for her but is often the case I am not a mind reader. When I have asked her “what else can I do for you?” or address her with “Can we talk?” I find myself watching as her eyes roll in her sockets as she mutters “Not this again.”

I don’t want to impose. I don’t want to demand. Yet I do these things to my own children out of a sense that they lack the mental maturity to see the bigger picture. Are spouses that much different? I often find myself thinking ‘did I get a good one?’

So when does selfishness make you the villain?

– Hodor

 

May 23 2016

MOO4 – Beaten

It wasn’t glorious. I was in fact kind of ugly. I finally beat Master of Orion 4 over the weekend.

 

The reason for my failure at the beginning was stimulation overload. There was just too many things to take in a go “Oohhh” over for me to notice the little intricacies of the gameplay. Either way it is now done.

 

It is now Monday again and here I sit on the train heading into work. I spent a week playing that game, trying it out, and doing my best to conquer the galaxy. With the galaxy now conquered (yes it was on easy mode) I am once again freeing myself from my little mental vacation to start writing again.

 

Side observation. Yeah I got squirreled just now about how difficult it can sometimes be just to get an answer out of somebody. I wrote a fellow author a question about a project they were promoting and haven’t gotten a response back. I even googled for what I thought was the answer and sent that to her asking for her to verify what I found was the right thing. She couldn’t even bother to reply back with something as simple as “Yes that is it.” I mean what is with the lack of answering back? I hope it’s not because she is wasting her time playing some stupid computer game?

 

Speaking of squirrels, I just saw a truck totaled on the road that parallels the train’s route into the city. The scene, at 6:08 in the morning, didn’t look that bad aside from the trucks front being totaled. The CHP car was already on the scene though I didn’t see any physical bodies on the scene. That is the trouble with it being just thirty feet off from the side of the train and us going past it at forty miles an hour. By the time you see it you are already passing it by.

 

What else… I watch “hold the door” episode of Game of Thrones last night. Ow… wow… That was interesting. I read some peoples reviews of it after watching it and most people’s opinions seemed split between it being cliché (as in shark jumping) and it being great. I’m leaning more towards great. I haven’t totally decided yet as I think I want to watch the episode a second time before making up my mind.

 

I think I’m going to write another Tony E. Milf piece right now as the mood strikes me.

 

– Hodor

 

 

 

 

 

 

May 19 2016

I’m wondering if I should block a specific IP?

The script kiddie is at it again.

 

A user with IP address 46.148.22.18 has been locked out from the signing in or using the password recovery form for the following reason: Exceeded the maximum number of login failures which is: 10. The last username they tried to sign in with was: ‘admin’
User IP: 46.148.22.18
User hostname: 46.148.22.18
User location: Republic of Lithuania

 

 

 

May 18 2016

Peer Plug – http://gregoryebrayauthor.blogspot.com/

Did you get that?

A coworker of mine has his own site which I’m plugging here for no particular reason other than I’m thinking about it right now and feel like doing it.

http://gregoryebrayauthor.blogspot.com/

I’m not suggesting you go to it. I’m not suggesting you don’t go to it. I’m not suggesting much of anything.

“These are not the droids you’re looking for…”

That is all, move along.

 

May 18 2016

Script Kiddie and My Filthy Mouth

So… I’m trying to keep this site decently clean as a way of promoting my writing stuff.

I just transferred a domain I’ve been sitting on with Godaddy for the past ten years over to domains.google.com. They apparently cost less and have some easy setups with other free web blog type services.

I figured I could get out some of my darker/filthier thoughts on my other site.

I just checked back… The transfer from Godaddy to Google is now complete. YIPPIE!

Oh and the script kiddie tried again with “admin” (Eye-roll)