March 18 2019

Guess what I’m watching over eating my lunch today

 

I have a new respect for Monika Lewinski. You go girl.

So I’m eating a salad and all I can think of is someone else eating something else.

That being said… Go eat a turd Dwight!

 

Yes, there is a difference.

Monika was a young victim. Dwight, who still resides in self-imposed ignorance, remains a predator.

 

Go suck on it* Dwight.

*just not my (limp, green, small-nutted) salad*

 

😛

March 18 2019

Well this is a random as in “Juicy”

I’m posting something before a neglectful month has passed…

WTF?!?!?!?!?!

 

Yesterday during my lunch I plotted out the next few chapters of my Jessica novel. Jessica? What kind of name is that? What kind of story can I glean out of a title like that? Well, that is the name I’m currently using for my protagonist, it’s as good as a working title as any other.

I could use something else like ‘Dwight dies due to excessive diarrhea’ (juicy butt death?) but as of yet, I haven’t introduced the antagonist(s).

 

So… what else…

My latest online networking class starts today so that is going to cut into my free time again.

I still have five cats at home and I think two kids…*

That reminds me of my latest real-life Targé story. So I was in line checking out with my arm basket full of goodies. I tend to not use full-size baskets whenever possible as I find using those things impedes my navigational abilities through the store. Too many soccer mom cows and retired people stopping and blocking isles as they stare blankly at the options on the shelves.

Anyway, so the checkout lady is going through my stuff and makes a comment having seen the Allegra bottles and says, ‘Fighting colds at home?’

I reply, ‘Yep’ even though we aren’t and she’s doing her (nosy)duty of making me feel (un)comfortable with small (needless)chat.

‘Pineapple juice’.

I feel myself shaking my head as I try and put that into context, ‘What?’

That’s all she needed to ramble on, ‘Wish I had known about Pineapple juice years ago. Have your kids drink some pineapple juice before going to bed. It helps with the healing that the body does when your sleeping.’

Going through my head is thoughts of teeth being covered in sugars through the entire night.

‘It would have saved me a tone of money’ She places the Allegra bottle into my bag and looks right into my eyes saying, ‘I should know, I have twelve kids.’

Saved you money? Pineapple juice or the cost of raising twelve kids? I’m now on the verge of blurting out Condoms aren’t that expensive you know but instead bite my tongue and just give her a smile as she finishes ringing up my order.

Fun stuff.

March 12 2019

Botched my System

So yesterday, just after lunch, I went back to the office and while it was slow, did something to botch my laptop. I’m not sure exactly what I did but after some hours of frustration and the loss of some hair follicles, I reimaged my system back to w10 and then did another fresh install of mxlinux.

 

Play with fire…

I got burned.

But not really cause everything is a learning experience if you think of it in the right context. Yeah I lost some work but how much/little is the real question.

I’m currently re-installing dropbox and waiting for it to sync up to see what I lost. At most, what I wrote during my lunch, which is already posted online sooo…. TTHHHPPPTTTT 😛 (I lost nothing!)*[except for time.]

 

It’s almost time to start installing my kali tools and messing around again. Muhahhahahahhaa!!!

 

 

 

March 11 2019

I’m still here.

I’ve actually been doing some writing this past month or so.

I’m still swear-here-ing

 

Oh she’s cute. It’s my lunch right now and I’m plinking away on one of 11-inchers (LAPTOP you…uhhh … nevermind). She has one some leather outfit that screams ‘Pinch Me’.

Will I? Hell no (at least not outside my the fantasy of my mind)

I have too much respect for wo-what the police can do if called.

MAGA! – Make America’s Groping Acceptable!

 

Am I a pig?

Sure 😉

We all are but its just the timing of the event that gets you in trouble. I mean I can go up to my wife and pinch her on the butt and also get a slap across the face but I would expect her to not call the police on me …

Again

 

Ahh, she’s leaving (my wife or the hot leather number?) Maybe both?

 

Back to my un-puritan thinking.

 

Hey, there goes a ‘couple’ of women who look like they could beat me up.

 

Yes, I’m a P-watcher. What can I say, I like to study people and how they flow about around me. I’m a Pee-Watching-Man!

Uh…

Nevermind.

 

An older man who reminds me of Captain Mitch just walked in. If you grew up in the Sacramento area in the 70’s you would know who I’m referencing. Hey, I’m making references to something that is decades outdated.

I just did a quick google and found out that the captain passed away a few years ago.

KTXL Icon ‘Cap’n Mitch’ Dead at 92

BUMMER

That is part of the reason I’m not getting as much written as I would like. There are too many things to distract yourself with, like googling your childhood heroes and discovering that they are dead. Yeah family, jobs, cooking dinner and doing laundry, clearing up unwarranted restraining(defamation**) orders, all that crap takes too much time.

** Kiss Kiss Dwight 😉

 

Okay, my lunch is just about over and I’ve gotten in a bit of a mental exercise in quick writing. You see that is how you get over mental writing roadblocks, you just start typing away about the dumbest (people**)stuff and see what comes out. If it’s “golden” or if it’s “crap”, either way, it’s yours cause you made it. Now I’m going to bask in its glory and head back to work.

 

 

February 6 2019

State of the Illusion

So last night was the State of the Union. I’m what I would like to call a liberally minded thinker. Does that mean I’m a liberal? Maybe. I tend to think of myself as somewhere in the middle. The funny thing is, after talking with some of my conservative friends, is that most people tend to think of themselves in this way. Yes, everyone thinks of themselves as normal or close to it. It takes a true loon to accept who they really are…

Anyway…

So during the Presidents speech, I heard him make a number of true/exaggerated/false claims about this and that. He did this and that which depending on how you round the numbers could be construed as misleading/close-enough/lies.

Illusions.

You see/interpret what you want.

I too want to look my best and have hot (members of my sexual preference) chicks lusting after me if I only take supplement Denyitall.

I swear the greatest evil we face is our ability to fall for (self-made??) illusions.

At least that is the truth I wish to believe from my centrist view that I wrap myself up in as a means of comfort.

Right?

Left?

No wait, I mean I’m correct, or at least I believe I am.

To deny the doubts of ones one being is to live the shadow of ignorance.

Wait, what?

Yeah, I was just trying to say something to the effect that to question things is the basis of understanding that you may not have the clearest view. To look at it from another angle, to step outside of your limited perception. I was just trying to say something deeply flatulence… er… or rather fluctuant.

I really need to get back into writing one of my stories again, I have such a gas working on them. Or at least that is the illusion I’m asphyxiating from.

Politics, (potty)humor, exaggerations of the truth, aren’t they all just different spins of the same bullshit?

*

🙂

January 22 2019

January 22nd (32 days)

32 days since my last post?

Ggrrr……

 

So I went out and saw the movie Glass the other night. Originally the wife didn’t want to go and see the movie but then realized it was technically my birthday weekend and relented. She is so kind to me in forgetting when my birthday is and then remembering at the last minute.

I thought the movie was a “B” grade. It wasn’t a “great” movie but it was still “good.” I don’t want to ruin anything so I’ll keep my comments on the generic side. Man the way Mace Windu swung his- oh…

Ever notice how Samuel J is in just about every movie franchise?

Jaws, Star Wars, Marvel, Incredibles, Die Hard. Am I missing any?

Let’s see, what else? My dishwasher is leaking. It’s also ten years old so at this point is it worth a few hundred bucks to fix or do I just get a new one?

My daughter’s Chromebook just died. Don’t know if that is fixable either.

On the upside, my 14.5-year-old cat “Nibbler” is doing better as the steroids seem to be working. She’s desperately trying to sit her ass down on my keyboard right now.

Alright, that’s it for now. Life is calling me back to dealing with the bullcrap again, which of course is cutting into my free/writing time.

 

 

 

December 20 2018

$25/Month is what I pay to keep a ‘dream’ alive

Wha….?

I pay $25 a month to a professional author so she can live the dream via Patreon. I’ve been doing it for a number of years. What have I gotten out of it? Smug satisfaction? I mean why else do you continue to make that monthly donation to your local public television station. It’s not like you actually watch it.

Small truth/joke here. Every time I want to test an internet connection issue, I use a site I know I don’t frequent all that often, PBS.org. Yeah… Don’t get me wrong, I like the idea of supporting the arts/community/etc… Some people donate to other (nobler?) causes like the United Way. Well, artists need sandwiches too. They can’t all drive around in minivans with collection buckets spread out on the sidewalk before their wares.

You see it’s a guilty pleasure. I still have the dream of publishing my own works. So, instead of saving my hard earned money and using it to invest in a real editor, I splurge it on others. Dave… you make no sense. Yeah, well, ‘rumple fart sniffer’ is what I say back to you. It doesn’t have to make sense. The United Way has a way of siphoning off donated funds toward their executives.

I think of it as my non-canceling gym membership.

I’m still plugging away at my own stuff, keeping the ‘delusion’ alive.

 

 

🙂

December 20 2018

The D(a/o)rk Side of the yellow path

We all have a dark side. I’m not afraid of mine. I don’t know if I discussed this another posting, I’m thinking I did, or not, but if I did… so what.

So this last Wednesday, as my local writing group was finishing up our quiet focused hour, we started discussing our progress. I used that time to ask another writer, who is working on a story in ancient Egypt if lacquer is used in body preservation. I got a number of strange looks from the other participants. To be fair we didn’t have very many regulars that day and the majority of them were first times (and last?) to the group. I then turned to address the group and said, “I need to know how viable it would be in preserving a freshly killed body.” Their looks only soured further.

The group lead started chuckling as she has grown accustomed to my antics/personality. She said, “I really like your dark side. You have a real grasp on it and have fun with it.”

I found myself nodding. I would like to think I do. To be fair, it can go much darker but that is not what this topic is about. It’s about my skipping across the murky pond that resides within my subconscious and coming out the other side with only a few skip marks on my persona. Hopefully, I never have to go there out of necessity. Ever since my kids were born, I knew I had it in me to kill in order to protect them should the need arise. My thoughts have also gone in the opposite direction no thanks to sleep deprivation. With my son now eight, and daughter now twelve, I have also embraced the thought of going to prison for the rest of my life should anyone threaten either of them. On the flip side, heaven help my kids if they would cause harm upon somebody else’s kids. Homey don’t play that.

I find myself thinking back to Dwight again. That was a person, much like a person who never learned to wipe their butt correctly, never developed a healthy means of playing with their inner demons. This got me thinking, have I been picking on Dwight out of a twisted sense of perversion on my part? Is Dwight a handy-special person who just doesn’t know any better? If so, then I owe her an apology. I had no idea you were ‘gifted’ in your limitations.

Now, if you feel the above is in any way insulting or that you are indeed ‘not special’, take heart. You will always be special in my heart. I know with some people they were diapers before going to bed because they never master basic human bladder control kindness. Are you one of these people?

Here’s the thing. I know you are not as you have said to my face after reading my blog-posts so many times, “I have been called worse by far better people.” Those are big words and they were used in the correct context. You piss-passed your urine all on your own. You pissed all over yourself of your own volition. You bathe in it as wear its musk like a badge of honor.

Is my d(a/o)rkness showing again? ‘Funny’ you should ask? Let me try to not skip around the answer. Life is short. Life is about death. Upon our very creation, we are all destined to die. Why not try to have a little fun with it just so long as we don’t go around pissing each other other off?

Okay, its time I put a diaper on this stream of thought and get back to my story* again…

*(The next installment for my character named the Puppy Kicker)