October 14 2017

Shank you very much

Howdy Peoples,

What to say…

What to say…

It’s Saturday evening and I’m attending a class in Scrivener. ‘What’s Scrivener’ you say? It’s a software program that is supposed to make your writing experience all that much more personal and rewarding. It allows you to track and plot out characters and timelines. I bought the software two years ago but never got the hang of it, hence I’m attending this tonight. You know what? Its halfway over and so far I’m not finding this stuff to be all that impressive. Everything the instructor has mentioned, I’m already doing in Microsoft Word and Excel.

Why reinvent the wheel(er-er) when you don’t need to. I mean if it already working, why muck it up?

(Evil thinking)

Now I just need to come up with a way to finagle some additional training in Excel.

Mu-ha-ha-hahhahahaa!

* * *

And now for an update on StarBabe (yes it’s still my temp name…)

I’m still plugging away and just crossed the 40,000-word line a couple of days ago.

I only recently got into the main character ‘Babe’ POV. Yeah, you read that right. The first 40k where all focused on auxiliary characters. What does that say?

[Hey, that’s not a nice thing to think about me. It may be technically correct but it still isn’t nice]

The story has taken a real ‘shanking’ up from where it had started from.

That is all…

 

October 4 2017

Stolen Thoughts (because its funny and true)

Hello Peoples,

I saw this and had to report(er…) REPOST it here.

 

Writer or Psychopath? Top Reasons Authors are Commonly Mistaken for Serial Killers

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Writer or Psychopath? Top Reasons Authors are Commonly Mistaken for Serial Killers

Writers are different, though maybe you’ve heard you are special…as in “special.” We writers definitely fell off the end of the Bell Curve and probably suffered some head trauma on impact. Which OF COURSE unlocked our inner genius *flips hair*. Oddly, though “normal people” (code for “boring”) often just don’t get us. Heck, often we don’t get us.

I know this is a repost but apparently it is “that time of the month” on Facebook (and Zuckerberg should seriously consider negotiating official FB sponsorship from Midol). Frankly, ain’t nobody got time for that drama.

Especially when there are words to write and characters to torture. So posting this for something FUN.

The world needs more of that, right?

Anyway, I love being a writer. It’s a world like no other and it’s interesting how non-writers are simultaneously fascinated and terrified of us. While on the surface, people seem to think that what we do is easy, deep down? There is a part that knows they’re wrong. That being a writer, a good writer, is a very dark place most fear to tread.

In fact, I think somewhere at the BAU, there’s a caveat somewhere. If you think you profiled a serial killer, double check to make sure you didn’t just find an author.

Hint: Check for empty Starbuck’s cups.

A regular person may believe she’s come face to face with a maniac, but blunt truth is most of us gal writers are nerds who get ragged on for not wearing makeup more often. So if you see THIS (image below) probably NOT a psycho, just some poor author who tried an Instagram makeup tutorial…and it all went horribly wrong.

Writers march to the beat of a different kazoo.

Seriously. I once spent an entire afternoon googling Fort Worth hotels to find the right one with a balcony to toss someone off of. I was like the Goldilocks of murder.

Nope doesn’t face a street.

Not high enough to be fatal.

Don’t want them landing in a pool.

Apparently “normal” people do not do this, which is why being normal is totally boring and for the imagination impaired.

So before friends and family turn you into the FBI, here is a handy list of ways we writers are often mistaken for serial killers.

#1 Serial Killers Writers Need Alone Time

Generally, dealing with the public is only for a purpose (like making others think we are normal). To truly recharge and immerse in the art of what we do, we need to pull back and simply “get away.” Many writers can be found in basements, dark corners of libraries or lurking behind a desk surrounded with bear traps.

Daveflections: Oh I’m guilty of this one.

#2 Serial Killers Writers Often Hold Down a “Normal” Job

Many writers are also teachers, engineers (or likely married to an engineer—What is WITH that?), lawyers, doctors, or even librarians. We are friendly, polite and on-time and hold down gainful employment. This is what makes writers SO terrifying. You probably work with one.

You might even be married to one.

Daveflections: My wife, she’s used to me, I wore her down. I have that way with people. (uh…why does that feel like its coming off as bad?)

#3 Serial Killers Writers Can Look Just like YOU

When our book comes out, neighbors will say, “But she seemed so nice and normal. Really polite. Always thought something was off, but writing? Really? Who can ever know these things.”

Daveflections: 😛

#4 Serial Killers Writers Understand Law Enforcement

And probably dated it 😀 ….until they married an engineer.

When planning any murder or series of murders, we have to know our enemy. The cops. What are ways we can confuse them? Can we kill in multiple jurisdictions knowing the law agencies will never properly communicate and thus we can kill as many people as our plot requires? Can we run the police down a rabbit hole of distraction?

Can we evade them altogether? Get rid of ALL the evidence?

Image via Creepy Freaky House of horror (Facebook)
Image via Creepy Freaky House of horror (Facebook)

Which is why it is more critical than ever to support authors by BUYING books. Because the next best thing we are good at is planning a murder and not getting caught. So….

Just leaving that there.

Daveflections: (Not So Private Joke) Got Pigs?

#5 Serial Killers Writers Use Terms Like T.O.D.

Throw T.O.D. around a writers’ group and no problemo. But using this term at Thanksgiving with the family? Meh. We writers know the best time of year to kill and dump the body and which season a shallow grave is an acceptable option. No writer ever sees just a freezer. Or just a car trunk. 

Trust me, we are thinking how many people we can fit in that sucker and if we’ll have to saw apart the body first.
Daveflections: No Comment.

#6 Serial Killers Writers Hear Voices That Tell Them Who to Kill

And often talk to those voices. We might be driving to Costco when the Voice visits and tells us that we really shouldn’t kill that asshat who stood us up for prom. No, the slutty cheerleader he dumped us for is a way better choice. Then, so enraptured with talking to the Voice, we find we missed the last fifty exits and have to hope there’s a Costco in the neighboring state.

#7 Serial Killers Writers Choose Victims Carefully

Generally our victims will include anyone who picked on us in high school or ever broke up with us via Facebook or text message. Victims can also include anyone who ever worked in HR or customer service for AT&T.

Daveflections: AGAIN, NO COMMENT

#8 Serial Killers Writers Plan Their Kills Methodically

Sure you might get the fantasy or sci-fi author who just exterminates an entire race, but for the rest of us? No, we thought those kills out. We can’t just kill anyone lest we be left with a pacing and plot problem.

Duh.

Daveflections: Will you please stop already. I’m not trying to self incriminate myself here.

#9 Serial Killers Writers Have a Timeline for Their Kills

Sure the body count will rise, but during revisions? We just go back and spend quality time with the souvenirs we took off our victims. We might even take breaks between books because we can’t murder characters without a plan. Helloooo?

Daveflections: “You puts the lotion on the skin.”

#10 Serial Killers Writers are Narcissists 

Seriously, we have to be. Who else can write hundreds of thousands of words just knowing the world will love every bit of what you put down? And PAY MONEY to consume it? Narcissists have a God-complex but unlike serial killers who pretend to be God?

We writers actually ARE.

Daveflections: If you are reading this then you are probably already dead (several times over).

#11 Serial Killers Writers Take People Apart to See How they Work

We crawl in your head, but don’t get too freaked out. It’s actually a compliment. We only crawl in interesting heads 😀 . Betcha feel WAY better now right?

…..right?

Image via Doug Bowman courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons.

Okay so when ACTORS do this it is OKAY and “method acting” but a writer does this and it’s creepy?

We need to know how people think, what makes them tick, what sets them off. What are the right pain points and speaking of pain…

Daveflections: Figuring out what makes somebody tick is an art, an art any writer loves to get his fingers in and smear their fingers into. Yes, I love watching/screwing with people. Ask my kids ‘What is Daddy’s favorite color’ is and I got a $100 bill that says they answer with ‘Pinchy Butt’.

#12 Serial Killers Writers Are Also Sadists

Excellent fiction is the path of greatest resistance which means good writers are all about exacting pain. Doling it out bit by bit. Upping the heat and making that victim and all who love him squirm, then panic, then question the very meaning of their existence. We push our victims until just before that spark of hope in their eyes extinguishes completely.

And then we give them a bone and rescue them so there. We aren’t completely heartless. Sheesh, these people are imaginary. Calm down already.

Daveflections: Do you know how you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Nobody ever said the elephant had to be dead first.

#13 Serial Killers Writers Struggle with Addiction/Compulsion

Drugs and alcohol? Maybe. Books and cute bookmarks we never use because we lost them and so have to use the receipt from purchasing the freaking bookmark as a bookmark? Definitely. Female serial killers writers can often be spotted wandering around a craft store talking to the yarn. Males? Computer stores.

Daveflections: This is the skin I wear (cause its been well preserved by the lotion)

Angels and Devils

Yeah yeah writers could be mistaken for serial killers but in the end, everything we do is for the ultimate good. We actually have to write in mistakes lest our villain remain free and that is bad fiction.

Daveflections: Some of us actually willingly jump on that grenade before the pack, its who we are.

Speaking of which, have you ever created a villain so good you had to go BACK and write in some oopses? Like, “Wow, this guy’s good. Nope, they’d never catch him. Ah $&#!.”

Okay so some of you by now are either laughing and nodding…or you’re dialing an FBI hotline ready to link them to my blog. Fine, when they haul me away in cuffs, trust me I am taking notes so when I write a similar scene? I know how cuffs FEEL.

So there 😛 .

Daveflections: I couldn’t have stolen and pasted the article better myself.
😛
October 4 2017

Total Applications… & “Wow, she is kinda crazy”

Hello Peoples,

So yesterday I went to speak, with a person who shall remain nameless, who conducted my last interview, about how I did.

I didn’t get the job (Obviously) but he provided me some good insight as to what I can do to improve my chances.

He said I came in second place and was surprised in my mentioning that I’ve scored 10 interviews over the past 10 months that I hadn’t landed anything. My current Dwight also recently contacted him to verify that I had actually shown up for the said interview (yeah I know, childish to the power of boogers). He said in not so many words that, which I am paraphrasing and claiming as only my interpretation of what “I THOUGHT HE SAID” which was along the line of ‘I wouldn’t be surprised with you getting so many interviews that your current boss isn’t sabotaging you on her end when agencies are calling for references’. I informed him she isn’t anywhere listed as one of my contacts as I know she is a ‘big bag of wet cats’ when it comes to the way she see’s things (HER AGENDA – HER WAY – HER TWISTED REALITY). Oh, and he kind of (IN MY OWN INTERPRETATION OF WHAT I THOUGHT I HEARD) said, ‘She’s sounded nuts’.

Oh how that put a smile on my face.

Still, that got me thinking about if that could be happening. So I started adding up my applications over the past year by month.

Oct 2016 – 4

Nov 2016 – 14

Dec 2016 – 4

Jan 2017 – 25

Feb 2017 – 14

Mar 2017 – 24

Apr 2017 – 19

May 2017 – 32

June 2017 – 32

July 2017 – 18 (I was out for 3 weeks because she wouldn’t let me come in due to my nose surgery.)

Aug 2017 – 40

Sept 2017 – 42

Oct 2017 – 11 (So far, it’s only the 4th as of today.)

 

 

If my math is right that is 279 overall. I’ve had 10/11 interviews so far (I can’t remember exactly)

Is she up to nefarious acts? It’s hard to say but I think I’m gathering the proof that she might be….

 

We will see…

 

October 1 2017

Win – Win

It is rare in life that you come across a win-win scenario. I believe I have found one. I have started donating plasma and platelets once a week about 8 weeks ago. Every week as

I believe I have found one. I have started donating plasma and platelets once a week about 8 weeks ago. Every week as

Every week as I check in to do another donation they do a quick health check. Over these past 8 weeks, with me doing nothing different, I have lost 8 pounds.

Doing a good deed (winning) and losing (winning?) at the same time.

September 23 2017

Things

Howdy Peoples,

Had a good meetup with my saturday writing group.

(Inside joke from it) “That’s what SHE said”

Met with a lady who works at the state agency next to mine. Sounds like im going to have my hands full dealing with issues from two buildings. Fun times ahead. That’s the thing with the good fight. You gotta do what you gotta do. To do nothing is not an option. Its the reason i am who i am. Somebody has to step up to stop the tyranny. To lay down and let it steam roll over you is… something i cant do.

What else..

Tonight is my wife’s 30 year HS reunion. Fun stuff (not knowing anyone) :p

September 16 2017

It happened again

Lightning has struck twice

A second person has this haircut.

Now I don’t know this lady and I’m sure she is a fine upstanding member of society. Becuase of this, I have blurred out all of the faces in the picture.

Enjoy…

 

I know everyone plays to a different beat. I get it.

I get it.

I also get humor is a part of life and if we can’t laugh at ourselves and the idiots around us then it just gets all monotonous and stuffy.

 

 

This was a nice twenty-minute break (blurring out faces and transferring over the photo from my camera) from my working on my StarBabe story.

 

September 15 2017

New Excerpt from SPACEBABE

The following is first draft quality so don’t go complaining. SUCK IT!

 

=================================

 

The ensign looked at the data for a third time. He had a gut feeling he knew what he was looking at but couldn’t prove it.
He stood up from his console.
Others around him glanced up at him as they noticed he wasn’t leaving his post to head to head towards the facilities as one normally does after standing up. A few eyes near him lingered as one asked, “You got something Euger?”
He brought his right hand up and raked it through his hair. “I’m… I’m not sure.”
Steppy scooted out of her chair and went over to stand next to Euger, “Show me what you have?”
He pointed at his right most terminal and said, “You see this?”
She nodded as she puts her arms down upon the edges of his desk and put her weight upon them so she could focus better on all of his screens.
He continued, “That’s the feed coming off of the University of Gulga Balstar astronometrics monitor.”
“Okay….”
“It sits in orbit around the star and is constantly monitoring its health.”
Her voice had a tinge of boredom, “Go on…”
“Well, it picked up an anomalous signal.”
“Well, what was it?”
“It’s not so much what it was as when it was.”
“You are losing me Euger.”
Major Hanover’s voice addressed them from a few steps behind, “Did you find something?”
Both Euger and Steppy jumped. The Major waited in silence as Euger began mumbling in an attempt to collect his thoughts better. Steppy didn’t appear to want to step in as she still hadn’t grasped the situation.
The Major brows slanted downward, “Spit it out already.”
Euger then pointed to and explained the readings from the University satellite feed. The Major didn’t seem as she was a moment ago as she asked, “So what do you think you found?”
Euger sat back down in his chair and accidentally rammed into Steppy. The Major reached out and caught Steppy by the forearm as she tried to keep Steppy upright. Euger said in a distracted voice, “Sorry.” He then began slapping away on his workstation bringing up various files and feeds. “I’m going to assume you both know your basics when it comes to particle physics?”
The Major said bluntly, “Assume nothing. Talk to me like I’m an idiot.”
Euger started to turn his chair around so he could gauge the look on her face as he wasn’t sure of her sincerity. The Major extended both arms out and locked them onto the back of Euger’s chair back and prevented him from spinning it further. “It’s just a phrase. Yes, I know some. Now get to your point.”
Euger let that swirl around in his head for a few seconds and then spoke as he pointed at one of his center displays. “This is the battle of Horchata V.”
“Okay? We won that battle but it cost us, cost us dearly. Get to your point.”
He extended a finger out, “I want you to look over in this corner of the screen.” Both the women did so. “Now I’m going to fast forward the video to this point in time.”
All eyes were on the screen.
Euger then jumped a bit as there was a small flash of light on the display. “Did you see that?” His head turned back towards the others, “Did you see that?”
Steppy said, “It looked like a flash of a decaying TerryLASTname** particle.”
He then started typing in his terminal again and then another of his screens showed a bell curve on it. “Yes. Now it’s a very large decay according to what we would typically expect.”
Steppy said, “Okay….”
Euger started typing away again and the screen showing the battle changed to another one, “The battle of Ender.” He pointed to another corner of the display. “Look over here.”
They watched that corner as the main feed showed the now deceased battlestation going about its activities just before the arrival of the Saether fleet. There, right where Euger pointed to, the screen showed another momentary flash.
The Major said, “Another particle decay?”
Euger nodded, “It happened thirty minutes before the Saether fleet arrived.”
She leaned in and spoke in a softened tone, “Are you telling me these things are larger bursts are Saether in origin?”
He looked towards her and gave a hesitant nod, “I can’t say for certain yet but I found another one in the background during the salvaging of Saethar cruiser last month.”
“Show me.”
Euger started working on his keyboard again and soon they were watching the video feed from one of their own battle drones. Euger pointed to a part of the screen and scrolled through the time scale until he got to that point.
There on the screen was another flash of high particle decay.
The Major asked in her lowered voice, “How long have you been working on this?”
He met her gaze and said, “I found not one but four in the University satellite feed information.”
“Shit.”