December 19 2017

59,700 @ 98% of StarBabe is now written

I just took the time to break apart my latest fragment of StarBabe and did the number count. I’m still working on the very last chapter/epilogue right now and have been struggling with which direction I want things to end on. I think I’m going to have to get some outside opinions on the thing and just sketch out the two different draft versions for people to read.

I guess this means I’m going to have start cleaning this thing in order to make it presentable.


The Supreme Leader is dead, long live the Supreme Leader (in second draft).

December 19 2017

McScUse Me?

So this morning I walk into a local McDonalds to get some writing done before I head across town to my job. I like to wake up early and get my wordsies out early as I find I tend to get dumber/lazier throughout the day. Its just how my mind works and I’ve come to accept it. So I get in line and wait my turn for the cashier when a homeless person

*(is it wrong to say ‘man’ or if it was a male or a female? PC is so wrong. Let me just say it was an elderly Chinese lesbian with a hook for a left hand who is high as a kite and hope I’ve insulted everyone evenly enough. It wasn’t, but this is my ‘story’ so I can say whatever I want)

So as I’m standing there in line this person comes up to me and asks that I buy them something. I feel gullible and say “Sure, I’ll buy you a burrito.” I was going to buy myself a burrito and a tea so adding another dollar burrito isn’t that much of a deal. He then says, “I was hoping for an egg mcmuffin* (I honestly don’t remember exactly what he said but again, my story, bite me).  I look at him thinking ‘mother flipper, you ain’t going to eat better than me on my dime’. Then when the lady working the counter is finished with her existing customer she steps back to grab the next completed order tray and says to the homeless person next to me, “Your order is ready.”


I look at that tray and notice he already has three food items, that’s two more than I was going to order for myself. The homeless person then goes over to collect the tray and I do my best to ignore them. I then get my chance to place my order which now consisted of having but a single burrito. Having completed my order and turning away I see the same homeless person standing there with no tray in hand asking about the burrito I was originally going to buy for him. I reply to him while pointing at his tray over on the nearby table, “You already have your food.”

Am I a cold-hearted bastard? I think not. I hope not…

Dwight-les…(Tootles alteration for this particular story)



December 18 2017

The Last Jedi

Sooo… who saw it this last weekend?

(raises hand with a wiggling buttock that resembles an urgent need to use the restroom)


I know I did.


I don’t want to get into any spoilers so I’ll keep it as general as possible.

Man it sucked that they killed that person. Oh, wait, they didn’t…. or did they?

Do you feel like I’ve ruined something? Have I spoiled some event in the story or have I merely said something that has been done before? Like for instance… the millennium falcon swooshing through a narrow space and avoiding much smaller trailing tie fighters in pursuit? Oh wait, that’s been done before too. Yeah, that happened. Hopefully, since it’s been done before, it’s not that much of a spoiler.

Curmudgeon time -> Why do they keep having to recycle plot devices over and over in these movies? If the Force Awakens was a rehash of A New Hope then this movie was nothing more than a blundering (yes I said blundering) of both tESB and RofJ. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed 2/3’s of the movie. The other middle third was kind of a bore as it was a rehash of cloud city in a way, or at least it was to me. Yeah, another example of plot recycling.

Again I’m not trying to ruin anything so I’m not getting that specific.

Still… I enjoyed the rest of the movie just fine, even through all the blatant recycling. Watching Kenny from South Park die again in this movie seemed a bit cliche but once you see the movie you will get the reference and which character I’m talking about. I’m fully expecting “Kenny” to show up in episode IX unscathed.

Alright, I guess that’s enough for now.


TOOTLES ya’all.

December 12 2017

Robot Crack

Way back in the day, nerdier high school years and the few following, I was really into playing role-playing games such as dungeons and dragons and Battletech. Yeah… I was a geek. Does it show? So jump ahead a few years and let’s go visit the America Live establishment on K street during the winter of 1993. I was back home over Xmas from being in the Army and some of my friends had taken me there as a welcoming home thing. Well as it turns out what they hadn’t told me was that they had a Battletech pod location there. For twenty glorious minutes I got to pilot a Mad Cat mech in all its awesome outer-sphere gloriousness. I was a god. That is until the game ended and I got my score card which showed me as having 5 kills to 4 deaths. Not a very godly ratio but I scored above 500 so that has to count for something, right? I still have that battle scorecard up in my attic along with all my other books and not touched in some time other geeky memoirs.

Oh, and… “Hi Dwight”

(I know you like to watch[READ] like the perv at the window)

*(I can’t believe some of the stuff people put on the internet)*


(I also really like pineapple… wait… pineapple flavored boobies?)

I AM WHO I AM and you… are a Dwight.


Anyway… I recently discovered an android game called War Robots and let me tell you, on my phone and tablet, it takes me right back to those awesome 1993 graphics in all polygon boxes. The android game actually looks better than the original Battletech game but this is my memory/story so suck it.

I’ve been playing this thing like a crack whore over the past week or so.

I know it will lose its fancy soon enough but still… the pixelated crack… it burns with such nerdy passion.

Now I still got in some words yesterday morning and today (does this also blog count?) I’ve now reached the last(?) chapter of my book where I’m having one of the surviving characters being brought out of a medically induced coma to have the outcome explained to them. Yeah, I know what your thinking, riveting stuff talking about writing about a person in a coma. Sarcasm is self-evident. Only I haven’t told you who or where or under what conditions they find themselves in. So it’s not much of a spoiler. Still can’t say it’s any more interesting (more self-deprecating sarcasm).

Okay, it’s now 7:10 and I got to start polishing this bloggy off and heading over to work.

(Looks at time on cell phone) Is it crack-thirty yet?




December 6 2017

So my wife and I were talking…

…in between all the interruptions from the kids and in our conversation tried to come up with the antonym to the word narcissist. We couldn’t come up with one. According to “” it’s Outgoing, Unselfish, and Sacrificing.

The actual definition of narcissism is

1. Inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity.
2. Psychoanalysis. erotic gratification derived from admiration of one’s own physical or mental attributes, being a normal condition at the infantile level of personality development.

These people, whoever they might be, are at least in my personal interpretation, a cancer on civilized society.

it was during our conversation that another word came up, this being paranoia. The definition of it is “a mental condition characterized by delusions of persecution, unwarranted jealousy, or exaggerated self-importance, typically elaborated into an organized system. It may be an aspect of chronic personality disorder, of drug abuse, or of a serious condition such as schizophrenia in which the person loses touch with reality.”

It’s funny how similar paranoia and narcissism are when you think about it.

I would like to say more but I’ve got to get back to saving the Universe with my StarBabe story as only I can do it because I am the most gifted talented awesomist gooderist biggerist most magnificent story teller there is.


Yeah, a little bit of ego is a good thing. Too much and you can drive your mental stability over the cliff into the land of delusion.

[Beep Beep!!]




Bonus time,,20981393,00.html#what-is-narcissism-exactly–0



November 30 2017

Infinity War trailer

I got “the wood!”


For those that don’t know what I’m talking about, its the next Marvel tentpole movie which just released its first official trailer.

This movie means more to me than most other people for the comics it was based upon have always had a special place in my heart and mind. Sadly the Silver Surfer, who is the protagonist of the comics version, and is one of my favorite imaginary heroes, isn’t in this version.



Oh well, I’m going to have to take what I get… which is going to be awesome!

Did I mention I got the wood?







So I’m once more hiding out and writing before work. I got my headphones in and am working once more on StarBabe. I’m at a point now where I actually have two star babes and am considering killing one off as I’m trying to wrap this story up and finish it off. I know I need to kill something off (the voices inside my head are telling me this is a good thing).

More to come.




November 27 2017

Black(hole) Friday

Friday was a success. I got two truck bed loads of “stuff” out of my garage and to the local goodwill.

I’m thinking I need to make this a new tradition.

With my kids now being 7 & 11, we just don’t need to keep all this stuff anymore.


What else….

Thursday was good with the friends and family. I was the primary bird cook with my wife handling about half of the side dishes. It had to end earlier than we would have liked but medical issues are always present.



On Saturday I started stringing up the Xmas lights and later that night we had some adult friends over (no it wasn’t a fishbowl party) and we got in a couple of hours of Cards Against Humanity.

Good times.


Sunday was a chill day where I got to do some more garage cleaning. The wife and I can now part both of our cars in the garage again. Yes, it’s a three-bay garage but we use the third bay as storage, which had unfortunately crept over into my stall. If I get more time in the near future I can see myself going to town again and getting that third side cleaned out to the point of moving a couch out there and a widescreen so I can make it into a quasi man-cave.




All this brings me back to today being (Cyber)Monday and how I’m avoiding getting any real words down on my story by writing in this and daydreaming of what I might find in various sales online…. decisions-decisions….

I have actual stuff to do at work and don’t want to waste their time with my surfing so I guess I’m going to put off my story for yet another day. I didn’t touch my story over the long break but that’s okay. I thought about it in passing and now have some new ideas that I’m contemplating wiggling into the thing.


Well, that’s it for now,



November 15 2017

Damn Dwight(en) McD’s WiFi

Hello Peoples,


So here I am trying to take my union training modules online and the damn McD’s wifi isn’t throttled/fast enough to load the pages without them timing out.


Guess I’m going to have to post about something else.

I saw an interesting video the other day. It just so happens to be Dwight related. Here you go Dwight…


So maybe you are thinking “why all the Dwight talk Dave?”

The answer is simply… “I’m trying to help my prior coworkers by helping her.”

She needs to realize she is “messed up” and has issues.

Uhhh…. no….

A squeaky wheel(er) gets noticed.




Squeaking (pun +1) of getting noticed,

I’ve known for over a year that she’s been reading this blog.

It wasn’t that hard to figure out because I know her personality type. She is the type of person to snoop, which I have a video of her doing, at my desk thanks to my motion-sensitive spy camera.

She is the type of person that belittles you in order to make herself feel better. It’s a trump personality type and the world has enough of this toxic behavior.

Hey Dwight, you want to know why I’ve been such an intentional pain in her side this past year? It’s because you are a bully and if you don’t stand up to the bully they will just keep doing it again and again.

You play your stupid games to mess with us and instill fear into those in the unit. Asking me to get a note from my school nurse verifying that I picked up my daughter from school… really Dwight? Talk about making things up just to harass your staff. We’ve got plenty of other examples and documentation from everyone in the unit.

You intentionally mess with people which is why I return the deed back to you. That is no way to treat your peers.

Yes, I too can play devils advocate and say, “If you are both doing it then aren’t you both at fault?”

The answer is simply she’s been doing it to the entire staff and not just me. The others, bless their little hearts, haven’t had the gusto to push back. Sometimes it takes someone of pool man vengeance levels to step up to the plate.

I’m not done Dwight, not by a long shot.

Oh, and yes, I’ve also known that a good number of other managers in the building have also been reading my posts.

I wish I had thought of this sooner but I started saying “Hello Pples” at the beginning of my posts because of this.





Well, this has been fun. Guess I had better get back to spinning my other StarBitch…er….StarBabe story…


Can you read me now?