September 9 2016

Today is the day, but tomorrow is another day

Huh?

I spent $210 to attend this event “https://sacramentowritingworkshop.com/

It’s the half-way point of the day and both the agents I’ve signed up to meet are later in the afternoon. I can’t say this has been much of a learning exercise so much as a reinforcing exercise. Much of what the speaker has said I’ve already picked up on through various sources. So nothing, as of yet, really new. Still, the reinforcement is providing some level of comfort.

You know what…

 

..and I’m back. While I was writing the above I got interrupted by a peer wannabe author. She and I struck up a conversation and one thing leed to another.

BTW I just finished giving my first pitch to an agent and I missed hitting a home run.

I did however get a line drive so technically I am on first base. She had no interest in my Sup-Her pitch but she did give me a chance to pitch something else. I plugged my Mr. Kobayashi story and she said she was interested in learning more about it.

SUP-HER is now officially on hold!

Hello Ehm! Long live Mr. Kobayashi!

Now I have to decide what I’m going to brush up on for my second agent pitching attempt.

 

 

September 8 2016

Mmmmm….tasty

The bead of sweat trickles down my back and finds its way into the crack of my ass.

It is a hot day but even as I stand here in the shade it feels somewhat comfortable had I not just walked a mile from work to the train station.

Of course it was late.

What else is new?

I came close to getting some sex this past weekend. Our little C.B., which publically stands for cuddle buddy, snuck into our bed both Friday and Saturday night after we had fallen asleep. In private it stands for cock blocker but that’s something I won’t share with him until he is much older. Nothing kills a mood faster after waking up with and reaching over to have your hand find the butt of your six-year-old son.

Anyway…

Right now my mind is awash in thoughts, too many thoughts, and far too much emit. Now you might be asking yourself what emit is? Well, it’s the opposite of time. Yeah, I’m not that original when it comes to naming things. When I write stories often the first names I come up with for characters it’s typically stupid like ‘Evaldude’. The antagonist in my Sup-Her story has the name Tyorus. Which is in effect the company ToysRus jumbled up. I wanted to name him after the twisted mind as I envision him. As of me writing this, I can’t say what his name might have changed to but I’m sure has become something different.

I’m in a Starbucks, air-conditioned thankfully, and sipping on a strawberry refresher. $4.45 never seemed like such a deal. It is definitely what I would call tasty. I called my wife a few minutes ago and she is now on her way to pick me up. Guess I can reward her by keeping my hands to myself again tonight. I’m not a subtle guy and so I want to make sure I’m giving the impression that she isn’t into sex as much as I am. Oh and on top of all this, I happen to have a cold as well.

You see when our little CB joins us he often sleeps onto of the covers, which I tend to throw off when I’m trying to fall asleep. Over the course of the night, as the temperature starts to drop, thanks to the windows being open, I reach over and pull them back over myself. Well our little buddy sleeps right on top of them which makes this little act of gymnastics rather difficult.

Add in sleep deprivation, which is the norm most nights as the kids don’t ever go to sleep on time, and you get yourself a nice little no win situation. Hello Mr. Cold.

The man sitting at the next table over from me is talking to himself. I doing my best to nod my head to the latest Lindsey Sterling album playing through my Bluetooth headset. Yeah introvert ignorance and not having to interact with him.

Am I a selfish human being.

Or am I considerate enough not to force myself onto others?

A bit of both seems about right.

Yesterday I made the trip to go see my grandmother who is just a few months of turning 90. It has been far longer than I would have liked since I last visited her. Sadly, it’s been years. You see my son, who just turned six, still has bathroom issues. I have been reluctant to do longer car rides because he keeps soiling this way and that. He is, for lack of a better term, a real pill.

Yes, I know that is an excuse. It’s also the truth. He is also wicked smart when it comes to things. I have some repressed hope that the little fucker ends up being some sort of Einstein and does something awesome with his intelligence. Either that or I’m just deluding myself into thinking all this is somehow worth it.

A bit of both seems to fit.

So in talking with my grandmother, because it had been so long, I could see the deterioration of time has had upon her.

Time out for a moment as I have to give some more backstory about who and what she is. So on Sunday I called her up and discussed showing up around noon to take her out to lunch. In the entire conversation I would say, from both of our mouths, that a total of 300 words in all. It wasn’t that long of a conversation. In the end, I think the words ‘lunch’, ‘noon’, ‘take you out’, and ‘see you around noon’ came up at least twice each. Well after getting off the phone with her I called up my own father, her son, and informed him of my plans.

The next morning, I get a text from my dad saying she has no clue to when I’m going to show up or even if I was.

Come Monday afternoon, as we’re all sitting around chatting, my dad, who decided to show up, gets a text from his cousin. He reads it aloud and tells everyone that my aunt/cousin (I get these things confused) is inquiring about my visit. The only people that knew about this trip was my father, my grandmother, and myself. The fact that my aunt/cousin also knew told me that grandma was busy dishing the gossip. This from the lady that has no clue to when I’m even showing up or even if I’d show up at all. It is drama for drama’s sake. She is like this.

She has always been like this but only now, after being away for some time, do I truly see it for what it is.

Man maturity sucks. She’s getting worse and as I’m getting older I’m seeing the truth more and more for what it is. I find myself missing the ignorance of youth more and more. Yes, I’m a forty-five-year-old man but even I want to cling to some innocence. You know, like kind of wishing my wife had more of a drive. Or that my kids knew how to not shit themselves so much.

And yes, on the way home yesterday my son shit himself in the car again. We got to smell that Mmmm tasty treat all the way home.

 

September 7 2016

Type A & Type B People

I believe in the 80/20 rule. It’s the only thing that seems to keep me above water. For those of you who don’t know the 80/20 rule is essentially ‘In order to get something mostly done it only requires some effort on your part.’ This is essentially saying that in order to get something to 80% done it will require about 20% effort. The same logic then says that in order to get it something from 80% to 100% will then require an additional 80% of effort. In other words, ‘Perfection is the enemy of getting things done’.

That being said my boss and my boss’s boss are both Type ‘A’ people. In other words, they believe in wasting the resources in order to get something to 100%. Now I work for the state of California and trust me there are plenty of 20% effort people out there who fail to achieve even a comparable 20% product for their 20% effort.

I don’t work in the legal department. My area does not deal with brain surgery issues, but after listening to Ben Carson I’m starting to think that brain surgery is all that difficult either. True story tangent: When I was around the age of 20 I went to Florida and went on a tour of NASA. As part of the tour they showed us the launch rooms and technology and gave their colorful banter. I recall them saying something to the effect of “What we do here is quite impressive but it’s only rocket science, not brain surgery.” Gotta love nerd humor.

I am a type ‘B’ person. I always have been and will be until the day I die. I would rather do something good enough to get it done and then move onto the next project. Yeah sometimes my 20% effort doesn’t actually get an 80% result but I’m willing to be that this happens far less than those who put in the 100+% and get less than 100% results. I won my shortcomings. Yes I said won cause isn’t that in a sense an own in its own right? Yeah, what started out as an unintentional typo blossomed into something more. Hey, this site is all about life happening in the first draft. I don’t mind rolling with it.

Anyway back on to my topic… I think type ‘A’ stands for Asshole and in a bit of self-indulgence, believe that ‘B’ stands for Brians.

😉

September 3 2016

Brain dead

Today I’m at one of my writing groups and my mental energy is missing. I ain’t got

I ain’t got it baby.

Don’t know why. It is what it is.

It is what it is.

No productivity/output from me today.

GGrrrr…..

August 29 2016

Dead Wrong – The Prologue

Hello and howdy.

The squirrel voices…I can’t get them to stop! Must obey and write about new and shiny things!

Okay, that’s a bit of a lie.

Their** gerbils.

😛

Late last week I succumbed to writing the prologue to my as of yet fully plotted out or started novel “Dead Wrong”

What I’m posting here is the second draft of this story. As all prologues should be, it takes place some time before the main story. It’s meant to give a sense of what is at stake for when we finally meet our protagonist in the first chapter.

Enjoy…

Ohh Ohhh Ohhhh. I need to point out that the funny names with **’s are there so I can find them in a search and edit them later. I use funny names as place holders until I can come up with a better name.

Ohh Ohhh Ohhhh #2. Yes I’m still working on cleaning up my Sup-Her story. I did some work on it today over lunch.

_________________________________________________

**Edit on August 31st. Their vs They’re. Man I stuck at spelling.  /Rant

 


 

Dead Wrong (The Prologue) 2nd Draft

By David Wheeler

TheWriteDave@gmail.com

 

A shower of sparks filled the cockpit as the enemy’s plasma cannon further shredded his enlarged cockpit living environment. Had lieutenant **Mho not had his flight suit on, he would have been cooked, blinded, and then subject the freezing vacuum of deep space. The same couldn’t be said for his copilot who had died when the first enemy missile struck the side of their ship and caused a crack to form in the canopy. With all of the warm life giving air being lost to space, his death was quite gruesome.

He glanced at diagnostics display and saw that this last strike on his ship had taken out the rear facing defensive turret. This meant his only remaining weapon was his front facing cannons. He knew what he had to do and it was going to leave him vulnerable but it was the only chance he had. Still the odds were in his favor due to crafts greater size in comparison to the last remaining short range snub Slixer model patrol that had found them. Grabbing a hold of his flight stick, he pulled hard and strained getting the ship to do a 180 flip.

The ship moaned in protest as it wasn’t designed for this kind of maneuver, especially with it being riddled with damage and having lost the functionality of two of its engines.

Thankfully it worked.

Lieutenant Mho’s craft was now facing nose to nose towards his assailant and the distance was closing fast.

The pilot of the Slixer, was inexperienced and so flinched and veered away. Mho strained his engines even more as he worked on angling the slug into range of his forward cannons. Slug’s were the derogatory term humans used to describe the Snarlacks as they resembled giant versions of snails found on Earth.

The enemy pilot, seeing how he had been played, kept trying to shake Mho off his tail. Mho might have been caught with his pants down at first but he wouldn’t let that happen again. With his copilot that was more literal than figurative as he had been taking a shit, so he was out of his suit, when the attack first happened. Mho managed to line the slug up for a shot and pulled the trigger.

Nothing happened.

He was so frustrated he wanted to reach up and yank his helmet off and slam it across his control panel.

Even though the damage control panel didn’t show the front cannons were damaged they had been taken out as well. He groaned in frustration as he tried to look at the bigger picture. He had given himself at least another fifteen seconds of life. He wasn’t about to waste them. The Slug made a sharp turn and Mho had to make a quick adjustment or risk the bastard getting out from before him and therefore firing on him again.

It worked.

A result of the change of inertia was having his copilots body bounce and slam up against his controls. He had involuntarily glanced over and saw the look of death that awaited him in Lieutenant McVoy’s frozen and husked face.

Running short on options he knew he needed help. With reluctance he yelled out, “Wake up Helga!”

The Artificial Intelligent system came to life. “I have detected severe damage to the craft.”

Normally the AI was supposed to automatically come on-line under such circumstances but Lieutenant McVoy, a genius in his own way, knew a trick to keep the bitch quiet. He shorted her sensor from auto engaging using nothing more than a gum wrapper and a paper-clip. Manually calling for her of course still worked.

Cutting the thrust on the remaining engines, he banked hard and fought to stay behind the Slixer pilot. He pushed them deep into the red-line in order to give himself enough thrust so as to not lose the Slug bastard.

“I must advise you that performing such maneuvers is causing additional damage to the two remaining engines.”

“Shut it Helga, give me something useful to kill this fucker.”

“Running diagnostics and combat scenarios. Scenarios completed.”

Mho had to yank hard again as the Slixer pilot had pulled a hard turn in an attempt at losing him.

“The plasma cannon is off-line. The turret is off-line. The scrammer missiles are-”

“Don’t give me a rehash of what I already know.” Mho had to cut his engines power again in order to run short and have the Slixer shoot ahead of him instead getting behind. He had to admit this Slug wasn’t a complete tool of a pilot, he knew some tricks. A grin started to form on his face as his own reminded him of his surviving the battles of Anders Six and Galvan Four. He had even gotten recognized as an ace in the latter one. He had grown up at the Mars shipyards and so had been flying one thing or another since before he could walk. The only reason he was here stuck this recon mission and not back on the carrier Jordan was due to his undesired sexual advance on the carrier’s captain. The captain thought this would give him enough time to cool off. The grin that had started taking shape on his face now had fully established itself. He was that good. He was a recognized ace. He was going to figure some way out of this and avenge Lieutenant McVoy.

Mho yelled to Helga, “Give me options damnit.” A distant glare caught his eye. He glanced out the fractured cockpit glass canopy and saw the reflective dust of the nearby asteroid belt. His mind worked at coming up with any kind of a solution. “What is the condition of the relay beacon?”

“It lacks sufficient propulsion to utilize it as a kinetic projectile.”

The Snarlack changed course again and started heading towards the asteroid cluster. “What is that asteroid field?”

“That is the Vandervoort belt. Scanning field now in passive mode.”

“Passive?” Before Mho could fully form his objection he had already come up with his own answer. The Slixers that had jumped him weren’t deep space models. It had to have come from some kind of capital ship. “Yeah, keep it passive.” He then adjusted his flight path once more and noted how the enemy craft seemed to be leading him towards the belt. “Look for anything that might match the outline of a capital ship running cold in close proximity to one other.”

All sense of him getting out of this alive started to fade away.

Mho kept trailing the Snarlack Slixer but knew if there was a fleet there in hiding, ace or not, he didn’t stand a chance.

“Scan complete.” Mho had never wanted to be alone this much in his entire life. “I detect five hundred and twenty-nine large bodies in the field. Of these ninety-seven are in proximity to one another.”

“It’s a goddamn attack fleet!”

“That presumption has a ninety-four percent chance of being accurate.”

Mho’s guts felt like they wanted to vacate themselves. “Give me a miracle Helga?”

“Analyzing statement against your personality profile matrix. I am seventy-nine percent certain you are asking rhetorically.”

Pulling another hard turn, “We’ll I’m not asking the Snark ahead of me.”

“Thank you for the clarification. I am updating your personality profile matrix.”

“Fuck that. If I don’t find a way out of this there isn’t going to be much of me left.”

“Are you asking that I not update your profile?”

“Fucking Helga! I’m being lead into a trap where I’m about to have my ass blown out of the cosmos. I need survival options. You can update your index later.”

“Notating resistance to updating personality profile matrix.”

“Oh for fucks sake already. The survival of the human race might be at stake. I need you to help me come up with some kind of win scenario where I get out of this alive.”

“Altruism traits are now updated into your personality profile matrix.”

“Done yet?”

“Yes. My processing speed at updating your records far exceeds the limitations of organic verbal communications.”

“That’s great to hear. Tell me, how long does it take for you to fuck yourself?”

“If you are referring to the process of mating with no partner then I feel the need to remind you that I lack the biological-”

“Oh just shut up already.” Mo had to make another sharp reactionary turn to keep himself behind the enemy pilot. A thought came to him. “You said the buoy pod was functional right?”

“Yes. The buoy pod is undamaged. Are you experiencing symptoms of memory loss?”

Mo glanced over at his engine display and asked, “What is the status of engine number 1?”

“The damage is beyond current repair capabilities.”

“Number 3?”

“It is repairable but I shut it down to prevent it from exploding and destroying this vessel.”

Mho had to make another tight turn kept his eye on the status of the remaining engines. An idea came to him, one that wasn’t going to much of an answer for him. He breathed heavy and then asked, “Can you configure the buoy to send a tight beam broadcast to the nearest fleet HQ?”

“Yes. I must point out that enemy fleet will detect the launching of the buoy.”

Mo felt soft smirk on his face. He knew the best he was going to get out of this was a tie. “Not if we eject it and have it send a burst transmission at the same exact time as engine number 3 ruptures.”

“If engine number 3 blows then there is an eighty-two percent chance the craft will be destroyed.”

Mo looked out his fractured cockpit canopy at the slowing approaching Vandervoort belt. “One small boom for me. One leap of faith for the fate of humanity.”

*

Regent Sgarlke’s shuttle pod, of the Sarlack Consortium, came to a stop and ran its scanners. It was positioned in space just short of the small debris field left by the destruction of the terran’s craft. Sne’s scanners gave the alert tone indicating it had detected something requiring sne’s attention. It examined the console and saw that it had detected faint life signs from the Terran. Sne brought up the virtual input console and began entering characters.

A good number of centiums later it got a response. Mucus percolated from its left pod in what was for its kind, a display of agitation.

The hatch doors to the pods front compartment started opening as the grasping arms extended themselves. Main doors to the pod front hatch opened and centiums later they started peeling away and breaking into the perforated cockpit.

*

Lieutenant **Lucy Ball held up her hand to tell Corporal Dessie Roberts that she needed to read the message that just popped up on her console. Taking the hint, he shut up and maneuvered himself behind her so he could see what had stolen her attention away from his flirting.

On the screen was a flashing icon that indicated it had picked up a coded transmission.

Lucy clicked on the message and started entering in her clearance credentials to begin the process to decode it.

Still standing behind her Dessie asked, “What is it? Is something wrong?”

The message finished decoding and Lucy pulled up the report and spread its contents across her multi-panel display. She examined what it contained and just how important it looked. Still ignoring Dessie, she began typing furiously as she began contacting those higher up in the chain of command of what she had gotten.

Finished, she twirled her chair around and gave a smile to her would be suitor, “Something important just happened.”

His brows scrunched as his gaze was split between her face and the various display consoles. “What just happened?”

With a smile she answered, “We’ve found their attack fleet.”

 

End of Prologue

 

 

 

 

August 28 2016

Don’t ask questions

I just remembered a dream I had last night.

NSFPM* warning here (Not Safe For Puritan Minds)

 

 

Ready?

 

 

 

Stephen Colbert was doing his late show and decided to do some man on the street interviews and lo and behold he comes knocking on my front door. I answer it wearing my favorite t-shirt and underwear, cause that is how I always answer the door, in my dreams only, no not really. Anyway, he asks me some questions and I totally nail them and am having a really fun time with it except my testicles keep popping out the sides of the cup in my tighty whities. Hey, I don’t write the dreams I have, I just star in them.

So yeah. That was my dream. You are welcome Stephen Colbert.

August 28 2016

Got feedback on my prologue to Dead Wrong

Yeah, I should be finishing up my final chapters of Sup-Her but I got another case of writing bug and have to get this out of my system.

It’s Sunday morning and I’m on my laptop. I kind of need two monitors in order to do real editing, as I go back and forth, and on a mini laptop that just isn’t going to work.

I started working the comments I got into the second draft. 🙂

I have to poop now. And swap the clothes from the washer to the dryer. I also have a cat on my lap and don’t want to kick the guy off.

Happy Sunday everyone.

August 26 2016

And I’m home, let the screaming begin

Oh wait, it’s already started?

Yeah kids. I walk in the door and they are already squabbling about whose turn it is to pick a tv show.

Guess what?

tv is off and kids are sent to their individual rooms.

I could take this time to try and so some writing but I know it’s not going to last. Besides, I think I’m in the mood to browse amazon’s music collection and find myself a new album.

Let the trancing begin 🙂