April 5 2019

To Shazam or Not

So the wife and kids are going out of town on Saturday. You know what that means, right?

When the cat’s away this overweight dork is going to possibly go get his nerd on.


I could do something more productive with my time




From the trailers I’ve seen, this looks like it’s going to be a fun movie. It’s intentionally being goofy about itself which is much different from the ‘Surfer Bro’ styled Aquaman. While I enjoyed the Fishman movie just not enough to give it high praise. Think C+/B- range here.

Wonder Woman, on my personal scale, got a B-/B rating. It had a more serious tone but also just didn’t hit it out of the park like everyone else was praising it for.

Captain Marvel, that got a B/B+. It was stuffed with “women power” crap that just didn’t need to be there. I’ve always tried to keep an open mind about how women can be just as *stupid as men.

*(kind, cruel, intelligent, shortsighted, etc…)

Men don’t hold the patent on being idiots, women can do it just Dwight all on their own.

After I saw the Captain Marvel movie I ran across this review on youtube and thought it was kinda on point.


In the end, as I need to wrap this up and head into work, I think I will go see Shazam as who doesn’t like the possibility of having a well deserved good time?


Am I Dwight or am I Dwight?

Oh god no… I just called myself Dwight?!?!?!?!?



April 4 2019

B.S. and the calling of it (Dave is EVIL)

I am fully aware of the fact that everyone has weird family members. I don’t have a monopoly. In fact, I would consider my family to be more on the normal side when compared to all the wackos that are out there.

Even then, I still like to stir the pot.

My mother and her 20+ year boyfriend landed last night in Seattle after spending the last few weeks in Europe. My mother uses the WhatsApp chatting platform on her phone to keep in contact with a plethora of people.

What follows is our conversation



My Brother: Happy you got back safe. Any good movies in the flight?

Mother: Yes, I watched Argo. Really interesting.

My Brother: Ooh. Haven’t seen it.

Mother: If was full of suspense, really enjoyed it. And this morning in the breakfast room talked to a woman whose father was with Delta Force, and on secret missions for the gov’t. Interesting stuff.

EvilDave: You mean like what *Bob* did?

(*not really name)

Mother: Bob was not in the military.

EvilDave: He’s said he was…??? Some years ago he was telling *MyWife’s uncle about a covert op he did.

My Brother: Maybe it was super secret service?

EvilDave: super-dooper full of pooper secret service??

Mother: He did under cover work for the Sherriff’s Dept. I guess that is similar work.

EvilDave: I can’t picture him in drag.


For some reason, the conversation died off right about then.




April 3 2019

~750ish words today

I would have done more but I spent far too much time googling this…


A baby born with polydactyly has more than five fingers on one hand. An extra finger is often a small piece of soft tissue that can be simply removed. Sometimes, the extra finger contains bones but not joints. Very rarely, the extra finger is a fully functioning digit. A baby may be born with several extra fingers.

There are several different types of polydactyly. Radial polydactyly means there is an extra thumb. Ulnar polydactyly means there is an extra pinky finger. When an extra digit is located in the center of the hand, it is called central polydactyly.

Polydactyly is the most common congenital hand deformity. It affects boys and girls equally. Black children are more likely to have ulnar polydactyly, and Asian and white children are more likely to have radial polydactyly.

Yeah, I got lost for a bit thanks to google.

March 28 2019

1,183 words today

I’ve always known that my personality type is that of a provider. I do for others often before myself. It’s just a part of who I am.

*which is another reason I fought so much against the Demonic-Dwight. Life sucking anal-harpy.


My kids, as much as I love them, as little rat bastards that demand all of my time and resources. Its what kids do. I understand that.

(*not “head up their own ass” condescending Dwights)


The funny thing is that today. I got to sneak away and have some DAVE-TIME (Dr. Prescribed) and managed to, in the span of an hour+, get down close to 1,200 words for my Jessica story. The funny thing was it was uninterrupted time.

So… by leaving me the F-alone, I was able to be productive.

Huh… Go figure.



Gone are the days of being able to type away on my 11″ laptop on light rail twice a day for an hour. As much as I regret saying this, for other (anal-harpy) reasons, I miss those days.



March 26 2019

466 words this morning

It’s not great but its still progress in my *Jessica* story. I don’t have an official name for it as of yet so I’m using that as a placeholder until something tickles my… uh… interest???

Total word count for the entire story is…

*(looking through my pages)*

I’m sitting at around 9,000 words.



March 18 2019

Guess what I’m watching over eating my lunch today


I have a new respect for Monika Lewinski. You go girl.

So I’m eating a salad and all I can think of is someone else eating something else.

That being said… Go eat a turd Dwight!


Yes, there is a difference.

Monika was a young victim. Dwight, who still resides in self-imposed ignorance, remains a predator.


Go suck on it* Dwight.

*just not my (limp, green, small-nutted) salad*



March 18 2019

Well this is a random as in “Juicy”

I’m posting something before a neglectful month has passed…



Yesterday during my lunch I plotted out the next few chapters of my Jessica novel. Jessica? What kind of name is that? What kind of story can I glean out of a title like that? Well, that is the name I’m currently using for my protagonist, it’s as good as a working title as any other.

I could use something else like ‘Dwight dies due to excessive diarrhea’ (juicy butt death?) but as of yet, I haven’t introduced the antagonist(s).


So… what else…

My latest online networking class starts today so that is going to cut into my free time again.

I still have five cats at home and I think two kids…*

That reminds me of my latest real-life Targé story. So I was in line checking out with my arm basket full of goodies. I tend to not use full-size baskets whenever possible as I find using those things impedes my navigational abilities through the store. Too many soccer mom cows and retired people stopping and blocking isles as they stare blankly at the options on the shelves.

Anyway, so the checkout lady is going through my stuff and makes a comment having seen the Allegra bottles and says, ‘Fighting colds at home?’

I reply, ‘Yep’ even though we aren’t and she’s doing her (nosy)duty of making me feel (un)comfortable with small (needless)chat.

‘Pineapple juice’.

I feel myself shaking my head as I try and put that into context, ‘What?’

That’s all she needed to ramble on, ‘Wish I had known about Pineapple juice years ago. Have your kids drink some pineapple juice before going to bed. It helps with the healing that the body does when your sleeping.’

Going through my head is thoughts of teeth being covered in sugars through the entire night.

‘It would have saved me a tone of money’ She places the Allegra bottle into my bag and looks right into my eyes saying, ‘I should know, I have twelve kids.’

Saved you money? Pineapple juice or the cost of raising twelve kids? I’m now on the verge of blurting out Condoms aren’t that expensive you know but instead bite my tongue and just give her a smile as she finishes ringing up my order.

Fun stuff.

March 12 2019

Botched my System

So yesterday, just after lunch, I went back to the office and while it was slow, did something to botch my laptop. I’m not sure exactly what I did but after some hours of frustration and the loss of some hair follicles, I reimaged my system back to w10 and then did another fresh install of mxlinux.


Play with fire…

I got burned.

But not really cause everything is a learning experience if you think of it in the right context. Yeah I lost some work but how much/little is the real question.

I’m currently re-installing dropbox and waiting for it to sync up to see what I lost. At most, what I wrote during my lunch, which is already posted online sooo…. TTHHHPPPTTTT 😛 (I lost nothing!)*[except for time.]


It’s almost time to start installing my kali tools and messing around again. Muhahhahahahhaa!!!




March 11 2019

I’m still here.

I’ve actually been doing some writing this past month or so.

I’m still swear-here-ing


Oh she’s cute. It’s my lunch right now and I’m plinking away on one of 11-inchers (LAPTOP you…uhhh … nevermind). She has one some leather outfit that screams ‘Pinch Me’.

Will I? Hell no (at least not outside my the fantasy of my mind)

I have too much respect for wo-what the police can do if called.

MAGA! – Make America’s Groping Acceptable!


Am I a pig?

Sure 😉

We all are but its just the timing of the event that gets you in trouble. I mean I can go up to my wife and pinch her on the butt and also get a slap across the face but I would expect her to not call the police on me …



Ahh, she’s leaving (my wife or the hot leather number?) Maybe both?


Back to my un-puritan thinking.


Hey, there goes a ‘couple’ of women who look like they could beat me up.


Yes, I’m a P-watcher. What can I say, I like to study people and how they flow about around me. I’m a Pee-Watching-Man!




An older man who reminds me of Captain Mitch just walked in. If you grew up in the Sacramento area in the 70’s you would know who I’m referencing. Hey, I’m making references to something that is decades outdated.

I just did a quick google and found out that the captain passed away a few years ago.

KTXL Icon ‘Cap’n Mitch’ Dead at 92


That is part of the reason I’m not getting as much written as I would like. There are too many things to distract yourself with, like googling your childhood heroes and discovering that they are dead. Yeah family, jobs, cooking dinner and doing laundry, clearing up unwarranted restraining(defamation**) orders, all that crap takes too much time.

** Kiss Kiss Dwight 😉


Okay, my lunch is just about over and I’ve gotten in a bit of a mental exercise in quick writing. You see that is how you get over mental writing roadblocks, you just start typing away about the dumbest (people**)stuff and see what comes out. If it’s “golden” or if it’s “crap”, either way, it’s yours cause you made it. Now I’m going to bask in its glory and head back to work.