November 1 2017

(Unofficially) I’m Free!

Hello Peoples,

 

I have it from reliable sources that my work plight is soon to be over.

More to come on this topic at a later time.

 

On a quasi-related note, my Dwight pulled me into another 1on1 yesterday. She had some bitter words for me over my actions of late. I just rolled with her jabs and flicked a few volleys back of my own. Nothing serious mind you but enough to “MAYBE” get her to think about herself.

INTROSPECTION: It’s what people with heads up their asses lack.

I’m sure everyone understands the movie/TV trope of where a couple breaks up and the person breaking the relationship says “It’s not you, it’s me.” We all know they are just saying that to make the transition as seamless as possible. We, the outside observer, know this as true. The fictional delusional participant, not so much.

That is my current(soon to be prior) work environment.

She thinks I escape work to donate blood (etc…) to get away from “doing work”. I had to exercise great control not to laugh in her face and blurt out something like “It’s all you sugar tits!” I will have made the fifth person to leave over the past 12 month period out of a staff of 8 for the unit.

I’m going to do some quick math…

Cube 1 – Mr. R. (Left 1 month ago after being in unit for close to 10 years – took a lateral to get away)

Cube 2 – Mr. L. (Left the month after his 6-month probation ended – took a lateral to get away)

Cube 3 – Mr. N. (new guy and still under his 6-month probation – 1 month left)

Cube 4 – Mr. A. (new guy and still under his 6-month probation – 5 months left)

Cube 5 – Mr. T. (been there 4 years and is po’d pretty significantly)

Cube 6 – Dwight Schrutte (been in charge for 13 months now)

Cube 7 – Mrs. K. (new gal and still under her 6-month probation – 1 month left)

Cube 8 – Mrs. H. (been there 5 years and is actively looking for other jobs)

Cube 9 – Mr. Wheee!!!! (I’m free!!!) – promotional limited term position

The additional personnel should also be mentioned.

Mrs. S. (left 2 months into Dwight’s reign – got a promotion into an adjoining unit)

Mrs. C. (left 8 months into Dwight’s reign for a limited term lateral in an adjoining unit)

 

Well, that’s it for now.

 

D- OUT!

 

 

October 30 2017

+650 more to StarBabe

My weekend was busy.

I got to; take my daughter to a med clinic due to her strep throat, visit Costco, work in my yard, help a neighbor dig out and put in two new fence posts, help my wife with her cabinet project, do laundry, and somehow sneak in a nap.

On the train into work, I got some more words down on my story. I’m still pushing towards the end of the story but now I’m having to wrap up all the loose ends which can tend to make things go slower.

Such is life

🙂

October 27 2017

Oct 27th… 44 apps so far this month

I was even gone for a week of it.

I’m trying…

 

 

On the bright side, I had three interviews (+1 2nd round) but so far no offers.

 

I think this brings my total applications to around 350.

So… this still begs the question… “what is preventing me from landing something?”

Is there something sabotaging me like a record in my file? Is somebody saying things of a dubious nature? Is it my own dumb ass mouth or skillset just not what they are looking for?

Hard to say.

(I wouldn’t put it past me to say something stupid from time to pancake)

 

 

I just know that eventually, with hard work, and a little luck (which I’ve apparently had none to have reached 350), I will eventually get something that can utilize my skills with while still being enjoyable.

(*Note to self: Stop using the pull-my-finger joke during interviews*)

 

 

what else…

 

I’m still plugging away on StarBabe (Yes temp title until something better crosses my mind). I would say I’m at etching closer to 50k. Can’t say for certain as I know it will happen and I don’t need to sweat the small stuff.

 

Still working on my front yard.

Last weekend I had to drive to Jackson in order to pick up an assortment(125) of bricks to finish up the border for my lawn. I didn’t actually place any in my lawn yet as it took an hour to get there, an hour to get the bricks loaded, an hour to drive back, and another hour to unload all of it. After dealing with the kids and all their “We want food” stuff my day was over with.

 

Thor movie. I can’t wait to watch that. It’s still a week away but I’m getting anxious 🙂

 

 

 

October 14 2017

Shank you very much

Howdy Peoples,

What to say…

What to say…

It’s Saturday evening and I’m attending a class in Scrivener. ‘What’s Scrivener’ you say? It’s a software program that is supposed to make your writing experience all that much more personal and rewarding. It allows you to track and plot out characters and timelines. I bought the software two years ago but never got the hang of it, hence I’m attending this tonight. You know what? Its halfway over and so far I’m not finding this stuff to be all that impressive. Everything the instructor has mentioned, I’m already doing in Microsoft Word and Excel.

Why reinvent the wheel(er-er) when you don’t need to. I mean if it already working, why muck it up?

(Evil thinking)

Now I just need to come up with a way to finagle some additional training in Excel.

Mu-ha-ha-hahhahahaa!

* * *

And now for an update on StarBabe (yes it’s still my temp name…)

I’m still plugging away and just crossed the 40,000-word line a couple of days ago.

I only recently got into the main character ‘Babe’ POV. Yeah, you read that right. The first 40k where all focused on auxiliary characters. What does that say?

[Hey, that’s not a nice thing to think about me. It may be technically correct but it still isn’t nice]

The story has taken a real ‘shanking’ up from where it had started from.

That is all…

 

October 4 2017

Stolen Thoughts (because its funny and true)

Hello Peoples,

I saw this and had to report(er…) REPOST it here.

 

Writer or Psychopath? Top Reasons Authors are Commonly Mistaken for Serial Killers

========================================================

Writer or Psychopath? Top Reasons Authors are Commonly Mistaken for Serial Killers

Writers are different, though maybe you’ve heard you are special…as in “special.” We writers definitely fell off the end of the Bell Curve and probably suffered some head trauma on impact. Which OF COURSE unlocked our inner genius *flips hair*. Oddly, though “normal people” (code for “boring”) often just don’t get us. Heck, often we don’t get us.

I know this is a repost but apparently it is “that time of the month” on Facebook (and Zuckerberg should seriously consider negotiating official FB sponsorship from Midol). Frankly, ain’t nobody got time for that drama.

Especially when there are words to write and characters to torture. So posting this for something FUN.

The world needs more of that, right?

Anyway, I love being a writer. It’s a world like no other and it’s interesting how non-writers are simultaneously fascinated and terrified of us. While on the surface, people seem to think that what we do is easy, deep down? There is a part that knows they’re wrong. That being a writer, a good writer, is a very dark place most fear to tread.

In fact, I think somewhere at the BAU, there’s a caveat somewhere. If you think you profiled a serial killer, double check to make sure you didn’t just find an author.

Hint: Check for empty Starbuck’s cups.

A regular person may believe she’s come face to face with a maniac, but blunt truth is most of us gal writers are nerds who get ragged on for not wearing makeup more often. So if you see THIS (image below) probably NOT a psycho, just some poor author who tried an Instagram makeup tutorial…and it all went horribly wrong.

Writers march to the beat of a different kazoo.

Seriously. I once spent an entire afternoon googling Fort Worth hotels to find the right one with a balcony to toss someone off of. I was like the Goldilocks of murder.

Nope doesn’t face a street.

Not high enough to be fatal.

Don’t want them landing in a pool.

Apparently “normal” people do not do this, which is why being normal is totally boring and for the imagination impaired.

So before friends and family turn you into the FBI, here is a handy list of ways we writers are often mistaken for serial killers.

#1 Serial Killers Writers Need Alone Time

Generally, dealing with the public is only for a purpose (like making others think we are normal). To truly recharge and immerse in the art of what we do, we need to pull back and simply “get away.” Many writers can be found in basements, dark corners of libraries or lurking behind a desk surrounded with bear traps.

Daveflections: Oh I’m guilty of this one.

#2 Serial Killers Writers Often Hold Down a “Normal” Job

Many writers are also teachers, engineers (or likely married to an engineer—What is WITH that?), lawyers, doctors, or even librarians. We are friendly, polite and on-time and hold down gainful employment. This is what makes writers SO terrifying. You probably work with one.

You might even be married to one.

Daveflections: My wife, she’s used to me, I wore her down. I have that way with people. (uh…why does that feel like its coming off as bad?)

#3 Serial Killers Writers Can Look Just like YOU

When our book comes out, neighbors will say, “But she seemed so nice and normal. Really polite. Always thought something was off, but writing? Really? Who can ever know these things.”

Daveflections: 😛

#4 Serial Killers Writers Understand Law Enforcement

And probably dated it 😀 ….until they married an engineer.

When planning any murder or series of murders, we have to know our enemy. The cops. What are ways we can confuse them? Can we kill in multiple jurisdictions knowing the law agencies will never properly communicate and thus we can kill as many people as our plot requires? Can we run the police down a rabbit hole of distraction?

Can we evade them altogether? Get rid of ALL the evidence?

Image via Creepy Freaky House of horror (Facebook)
Image via Creepy Freaky House of horror (Facebook)

Which is why it is more critical than ever to support authors by BUYING books. Because the next best thing we are good at is planning a murder and not getting caught. So….

Just leaving that there.

Daveflections: (Not So Private Joke) Got Pigs?

#5 Serial Killers Writers Use Terms Like T.O.D.

Throw T.O.D. around a writers’ group and no problemo. But using this term at Thanksgiving with the family? Meh. We writers know the best time of year to kill and dump the body and which season a shallow grave is an acceptable option. No writer ever sees just a freezer. Or just a car trunk. 

Trust me, we are thinking how many people we can fit in that sucker and if we’ll have to saw apart the body first.
Daveflections: No Comment.

#6 Serial Killers Writers Hear Voices That Tell Them Who to Kill

And often talk to those voices. We might be driving to Costco when the Voice visits and tells us that we really shouldn’t kill that asshat who stood us up for prom. No, the slutty cheerleader he dumped us for is a way better choice. Then, so enraptured with talking to the Voice, we find we missed the last fifty exits and have to hope there’s a Costco in the neighboring state.

#7 Serial Killers Writers Choose Victims Carefully

Generally our victims will include anyone who picked on us in high school or ever broke up with us via Facebook or text message. Victims can also include anyone who ever worked in HR or customer service for AT&T.

Daveflections: AGAIN, NO COMMENT

#8 Serial Killers Writers Plan Their Kills Methodically

Sure you might get the fantasy or sci-fi author who just exterminates an entire race, but for the rest of us? No, we thought those kills out. We can’t just kill anyone lest we be left with a pacing and plot problem.

Duh.

Daveflections: Will you please stop already. I’m not trying to self incriminate myself here.

#9 Serial Killers Writers Have a Timeline for Their Kills

Sure the body count will rise, but during revisions? We just go back and spend quality time with the souvenirs we took off our victims. We might even take breaks between books because we can’t murder characters without a plan. Helloooo?

Daveflections: “You puts the lotion on the skin.”

#10 Serial Killers Writers are Narcissists 

Seriously, we have to be. Who else can write hundreds of thousands of words just knowing the world will love every bit of what you put down? And PAY MONEY to consume it? Narcissists have a God-complex but unlike serial killers who pretend to be God?

We writers actually ARE.

Daveflections: If you are reading this then you are probably already dead (several times over).

#11 Serial Killers Writers Take People Apart to See How they Work

We crawl in your head, but don’t get too freaked out. It’s actually a compliment. We only crawl in interesting heads 😀 . Betcha feel WAY better now right?

…..right?

Image via Doug Bowman courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons.

Okay so when ACTORS do this it is OKAY and “method acting” but a writer does this and it’s creepy?

We need to know how people think, what makes them tick, what sets them off. What are the right pain points and speaking of pain…

Daveflections: Figuring out what makes somebody tick is an art, an art any writer loves to get his fingers in and smear their fingers into. Yes, I love watching/screwing with people. Ask my kids ‘What is Daddy’s favorite color’ is and I got a $100 bill that says they answer with ‘Pinchy Butt’.

#12 Serial Killers Writers Are Also Sadists

Excellent fiction is the path of greatest resistance which means good writers are all about exacting pain. Doling it out bit by bit. Upping the heat and making that victim and all who love him squirm, then panic, then question the very meaning of their existence. We push our victims until just before that spark of hope in their eyes extinguishes completely.

And then we give them a bone and rescue them so there. We aren’t completely heartless. Sheesh, these people are imaginary. Calm down already.

Daveflections: Do you know how you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Nobody ever said the elephant had to be dead first.

#13 Serial Killers Writers Struggle with Addiction/Compulsion

Drugs and alcohol? Maybe. Books and cute bookmarks we never use because we lost them and so have to use the receipt from purchasing the freaking bookmark as a bookmark? Definitely. Female serial killers writers can often be spotted wandering around a craft store talking to the yarn. Males? Computer stores.

Daveflections: This is the skin I wear (cause its been well preserved by the lotion)

Angels and Devils

Yeah yeah writers could be mistaken for serial killers but in the end, everything we do is for the ultimate good. We actually have to write in mistakes lest our villain remain free and that is bad fiction.

Daveflections: Some of us actually willingly jump on that grenade before the pack, its who we are.

Speaking of which, have you ever created a villain so good you had to go BACK and write in some oopses? Like, “Wow, this guy’s good. Nope, they’d never catch him. Ah $&#!.”

Okay so some of you by now are either laughing and nodding…or you’re dialing an FBI hotline ready to link them to my blog. Fine, when they haul me away in cuffs, trust me I am taking notes so when I write a similar scene? I know how cuffs FEEL.

So there 😛 .

Daveflections: I couldn’t have stolen and pasted the article better myself.
😛
October 4 2017

Total Applications… & “Wow, she is kinda crazy”

Hello Peoples,

So yesterday I went to speak, with a person who shall remain nameless, who conducted my last interview, about how I did.

I didn’t get the job (Obviously) but he provided me some good insight as to what I can do to improve my chances.

He said I came in second place and was surprised in my mentioning that I’ve scored 10 interviews over the past 10 months that I hadn’t landed anything. My current Dwight also recently contacted him to verify that I had actually shown up for the said interview (yeah I know, childish to the power of boogers). He said in not so many words that, which I am paraphrasing and claiming as only my interpretation of what “I THOUGHT HE SAID” which was along the line of ‘I wouldn’t be surprised with you getting so many interviews that your current boss isn’t sabotaging you on her end when agencies are calling for references’. I informed him she isn’t anywhere listed as one of my contacts as I know she is a ‘big bag of wet cats’ when it comes to the way she see’s things (HER AGENDA – HER WAY – HER TWISTED REALITY). Oh, and he kind of (IN MY OWN INTERPRETATION OF WHAT I THOUGHT I HEARD) said, ‘She’s sounded nuts’.

Oh how that put a smile on my face.

Still, that got me thinking about if that could be happening. So I started adding up my applications over the past year by month.

Oct 2016 – 4

Nov 2016 – 14

Dec 2016 – 4

Jan 2017 – 25

Feb 2017 – 14

Mar 2017 – 24

Apr 2017 – 19

May 2017 – 32

June 2017 – 32

July 2017 – 18 (I was out for 3 weeks because she wouldn’t let me come in due to my nose surgery.)

Aug 2017 – 40

Sept 2017 – 42

Oct 2017 – 11 (So far, it’s only the 4th as of today.)

 

 

If my math is right that is 279 overall. I’ve had 10/11 interviews so far (I can’t remember exactly)

Is she up to nefarious acts? It’s hard to say but I think I’m gathering the proof that she might be….

 

We will see…

 

October 1 2017

Win – Win

It is rare in life that you come across a win-win scenario. I believe I have found one. I have started donating plasma and platelets once a week about 8 weeks ago. Every week as

I believe I have found one. I have started donating plasma and platelets once a week about 8 weeks ago. Every week as

Every week as I check in to do another donation they do a quick health check. Over these past 8 weeks, with me doing nothing different, I have lost 8 pounds.

Doing a good deed (winning) and losing (winning?) at the same time.