I bought a book off Amazon a few months back, this was it.

The Ten Day Outline by Lewis Jorstad.

<Pausing to glance at calendar having seen the date I originally purchased it in the above image>

Well, there goes the last six months with nothing to show for it.

FU time and your slippery evilness.

*Grumbles to my inner failures. If I had a beer in front of me I would cry into it.*

Yesterday I finished the first chapter.

Wasn’t that impressed.

Will I continue?

Sure. I paid a good $3 for the thing.

I’ve had two ideas in my head that have failed to get any real traction over the past few… YEARS? Damn you time and your sneaky life-sucking stupid-face! (Yes, my inner eight-year-old is in the driver’s seat right now).

But Dave, aren’t you still ignoring your Jessica Day novel? Couldn’t your time be better spent ignoring that project and instead fix all the things being broken by all of your rat bastage children? Couldn’t you be indulging your wife by bringing her peeled grapes and slices of nasty cheese in bed?

There is *TIME for that kind of *FUn later 😉

I’ll give you(time) something to suck on later.

Anywho…

So… what about that book (you dark demented potty-mouthed man)?

Oh, yeah. So I’m using it for two different novel ideas I’ve been farting around with. One is code-named ‘Black Betty’ and it’s a sequel to my ‘Puppy Kicker’ book. It’s a Deadpool-like story that features an enhanced mercenary on the run. The other is a space marine one that is going to heavily influenced by the events of D-day. The second one will be based in my Jessica Day universe. I’m not going to write out either but I want to get their outlines semi-pressed out. Yes, as I write them things will change but I at least want a chalk outline. In my heart, I am a pantser, but feel that my limited productivity on these two is because… I’m lost. I need a kick in the ass.

Right now it is 6:50 am and it’s about time for me to pack up and leave my grocery store walking escape time and head back home to deal with all of the bastages again. Yep, time is forcing me back to the grind again. First though, I’m going to head next door the bagel shop and buy a dozen for the rats. It’s two miles from my house to the store so on mornings like this, I’m getting a four mile walk in. Something? Imagine all the writing I could do over those four miles if I could figure out some sort of walking keyboard…

I actually bought one of these.

That story is for another day.

Tootles all…

😛

Redundant?

I’m still a fan.

This little thing puts out some decent air.

I’ve never been a fan of the heat. All my life I’ve been a shorts guy. I wear shorts 98% of the time. I’ve even gone snow skiing in shorts. The remaining 2% is shower and toilet time and the even rarer events where I’m not able to get by with shorts. I didn’t get married in shorts and continue to hold something of a grudge over this. 😛

Hey Dave, what does this have to do with writing? You’re doing some stupid fan review, what the heck? You’re even doing it wrong. No links, no promotions, why are you wasting your time like this? Aren’t you the one complaining about never having any time?

Yes…

I’m writing. As stupid as this all is, I’m exercising my mental noodle… Wait… noodle? Are you getting all perverted with this?

Blow me.

HA!

(fan joke)

Yes, I’m nothing more than a delinquent fourteen-year-old in an old fart body.

Life sucks… and it “BLOWS” too.

HA!

To sum it all up…

I really like this fan.

What can I say, I enjoy the simple things.

Fans (and shorts)

Tootles.

This video popped up in my feed, and I had to share it… just BUTTcause.

So Disney+ just released an hour-long music clip excerpt from their show ‘The Falcon And The Winter Solider’. It’s not something memorable other than to say it’s memorable that they did it. The scene shows the character Baron Zemo dancing in some underground techno club. It’s only about 10 seconds long and doesn’t mean anything to the overall arc of the program, except that it blew up on the internet and so now they’ve made it a thing. They made an hour thing out of a 1o second thing that should have been ‘a nothing’.

Only now it is a thing as it shows they have a sense of humor.

Bravo on the Baron stunt.

Another thing, does anyone else think the Baron, Daniel Brühl, looks an awful lot like Bruce McCulloch?

…

???

Just me?

Okay then.

That is all for now, tootles all.

Hate? That is such a strong word. Why are you being such a mean, nasty, bastard Dave? What has she done to you?

When I’m out in public, and I have to use the restroom, I ‘try’ to flush my deposits but sometimes the solid bits do their own thing and backflow into the bowl again. It happens, it happens to everyone.

When I’m out in public and I’m approaching a store, I often try to hold the door open for my fellow human beings, I might not see someone and to them, I apologize. I also appreciate it when somebody else holds the door open for me. It’s called common courtesy.

As a father, I’m constantly picking up after my rat children. It’s what a responsible adult does.

This woman…

This woman can’t do any of this. This woman can’t even wipe her own ass and has to get somebody else to do it for her. (Yes, the second poop example in this rant. Sorry but people like this put me in a ‘crappy’ mood.)

She is a selfish a-hole (is this my fourth reference so far?) of a person. She is nothing more than a child herself. Needing attention all the time, and for what? So she can indulge in her Donald J(oke) Trump like narcissism?

Go to hell woman.

Okay, ranting over. I’ve got to pack up my stuff and walk home again. (What? I walked and didn’t have my servants do everything for me? The audacity) This morning I was hiding out at my local grocery store to pick up some breakfast items for me and the wife. I make us both bacon-egg-cheese-croissants.  (What? I’m not having somebody cater to my every need and am making something for somebody else?)  I was working on cleaning up chunks 8 & 9 of my Jessica Day story. I think I’ve decided the title is going to be ‘A New Day’. If the thing ever gets published you will understand more of why that title appeals to my punny side.

Progress.

It’s hard because I’m never left the Eff-alone. Kids, wife (also kinda child-like), job, domestic duties, it’s all too much. On top of that, I’m constantly tired. I woke up at 5 am this morning to do this walk, which now makes me even more tired over the course of the day.

EEK!

I’m glad she doesn’t read this blog 😛

In fairness, I think she would also call me child-like at times, though for different reasons as what I do tends to “BUG” her more than a car full of insects.

Double EEK!

Tootles all.

So…

In following my last post a few days, I have a question about my ethics.

Now I’m not the devil, at least I would like to delude myself into thinking as much. My wife, on the other hand, may have a different opinion should she ever read this.

(commercial break)

She doesn’t read my blog. Much like my writings, she could care less. That’s okay because I could give a rat’s ass about some of her interests. I’m not being cruel, just honest. People need their own things and in both of our opinions, too much togetherness can be stiffling.

(and now back to the mockumentary)

I’m sitting in the allergy doctor’s office with my daughter, waiting for the side effect window to pass so we can pack things up and leave. My phone rings. I answer in the waiting area, which I know is rude, but it’s my wife and she should know where I’m at, so whatever it is, it must be somewhat important.

She is talking quickly and I manage to understand that she is in the parking lot with one of our ‘adoptive’ kids as she just finished dropping the other one at dance lessons. She can’t get back into the car because she found a bug in it and she’s spooked.

Is it a black widow? A wasp? A tiny version of Godzilla that belches flame?

So I hurry out of there and drive over to ‘rescue’ her from the deadly threat.

I get out and she points to where two bugs are stuck together at the groins. Yes, ladies and gents, it’s springtime and that means it’s jiggy time, even for the tiny critters. I walk around the car, open the door, sweep my hand inside, and swat the conjoined bastards out and onto the asphalt. My wife is still spooked and I offer to swap cars with her. She agrees and I tell her I’ll go and get the car cleaned out.

Moments later she drives off in my car and I head off to the local full-service car wash. An hour and $5o later, I’m back in her car and heading back home. She actually likes getting her car insides vacuumed out every so often as our kids are disgusting slobs. Something about removing the stench of dried-out yogurt and replacing it with fake Pino Colada is appealing to her, go figure.

So what did I do wrong?

Getting the car vacuumed and wiped down did nothing to solve the bug issue. The things got in through an air vent or when the side door was opened. It’s all psychosomatic. My wife is a loon. Is $50 worth it to give her some sense of resolution? I’m kinda leaning towards yes seeing how that is how I handled it.

Happy delusion, happy resolution.

😛

So I’m driving my kids along the backstreets in my neighborhood, and step on the gas a bit after turning a corner. I get my ‘zippy car’ up to 32 mph and then back off on the accelerator as there is somewhat of an incline. By the time I crested the hill I was back under the 25 mph speed limit. Yes, I broke the law. Did I care? Not much. My daughter on the other hand lets out a ‘Wee’ as she found it fun. I then explained to my kids what the speed limit actually is and that its not really safe as you never know when some kid could dart out unexpectidly into the road.

We begin slowing down ahead of the next 3 way stop and a even zippier car runs the stop sign and peels out going straight ahead. I said to my kids, “Now that is dangerous.”

My daughter says, “Yeah, he’s an idiot.”

I say to her having seen the driver’s blond flowing hair. “It was a she. Bad drivers and be either gender.”

She snips back, “Don’t you mean any gender?”

I snap back with “Whatever.”

So I got gender shamed by my daughter after she labled the driver a ‘He’ in the first place.

Pick your battles Dave.

My daughter is a young woman in training.

Pick your battles.

Now on to something quasi related.

“Happy wife, happy life”

NO NO NO NO NO.

It’s happy spouse, happy house.

So that’s my own ANTI gender shaming thing.

😛

I’m now in my fifties and I can say that out of all the people I’ve met, the ones that have annoyed me the most, tend to be ‘Pro Texas’. Is it just queer circumstance? Is it Baader-Meinhof phenomenon in effect? Hard to say.

Anywho…

I saw this video on youtube and thought it was entertaining.

Anywho number 2…

I’ve been teasing/testing myself in doing some writing again. A funny thing happened the other day. I got into a fight with my wife and in my darkened mood I left the house (with all the kids and their homeschool questions) and went to cool off in my car for a few hours. I brought my travel laptop with me as I tend to do. Well since I can’t ‘go-vid’ anywhere, I parked under a tree near a park, turned on my music, and opened my laptop. I had NO INTERRUPTIONS.

I actually got 3,000 words down in my Jessica Day story.  (sarcasm) Who-da thought that it was possible. After I had gotten my NEW words in, and my mood had cooled considerably, I was feeling good about myself and found a sort of peace with envisioning my wife part in our argument.

The miracle of being left the F-alone.

Go-vid away already…

😛

Tootles

🙂

January 28th, 1986

I was a freshman in high school. It was the day the challenger blew up. Doing some quick math as I’m typing this out…. 35 years ago? Yeah, sounds right. Geez, I’m old.

A day that will live in infamy, not unlike January 6th, 2021.

I don’t want to get into that other than to say. “What a bunch of idiots we are.” Our nation sent people to the moon, and then stopped… we used to fund science and technology… and then stopped. We used to not attack our own nation but then started… Is it due to the masses of the uneducated? Do we

Just sayin(g)…

Though it does feel like life is trying to kill me.

Yes, I know. The very concept of life hinges around our inevitable deaths.

It awaits us all.

So what’s new…

Didn’t win the lottery, either of them. I could have done some remarkable things with the prize money.

A section of my fence blew down last night due to the wind storm we had. It took about a half-hour to get the thing standing again. A whole length of the fence fell over at my adoptive family’s house. In between getting the kids to classes and after school stuff I managed to dig 2.5 of the needed new 5 post holes. The fence itself is in decent shape so my plan was to just plant the new “METAL” posts right behind the existing rotted wooden stumps and shrink their back yard by six inches. The reason I chose to do the new holes along the backside is that the fence fell towards the front yard. Why make things more difficult than needed.

Like I said before, the fence as a whole still has some life left in it, and I didn’t win that lottery… either of them. (*Shakes fist at the lottery gods, Mega-Don and the elusive redhead Luc(k)y Balla.*)

What about writing?

I can’t wait for my sanity to retu-Dix-plak-9! [DOES NOT COMPUTE!]

I need to be left alone in order to write and that is just not happening.

(*Shakes fist at the covid god of bat loving fear-based sensationalism*)

What is the point of wearing noise canceling headphones if my son and daughter (and even wife) don’t stop tapping you on the shoulder needing something? My inept family members can’t even manage to pee into the toilet on their own without drenching the floor? And don’t even get me started on what my son has trouble with. (Yes, the before scenario has just enough plausible deniability between the two estrogen members of the household).

😛

Tootles all