This is something I wrote on my train ride into work. (1st draft)
Tony E. Milf
2015.06.04

Biochemicals of the brain.
Humans are several million years old and yet we have only been actively studying ourselves for the better part of several thousand years. Even then the technology Renaissance which ushered in marvels such as the MRI scanner have not even existed the length of a single human lifespan.
We know nothing.
I know nothing.
She knows nothing.
Yet she insists she knows more than me. What a bitch.
I start to stand, “I think I’m done for the day.”
Her brows scrunch above her eyes. “Is something the matter?”
Not expecting the challenge, I mean I know she is my therapist but I pay her, this isn’t court ordered or anything, I fumble for words. “I… I just don’t feel like it.”
I can tell by the look in her eyes she is upset and yet relieved. She doesn’t want to be here any more than I do. Her days have her indentured to the all mighty dollar just like the rest of us fools. Well not me, at least not for the next seven hours and forty some odd minutes. Today I am playing hooky.
She asks, “You know I am going to have to charge you a full session-” I cut her off with a nod and make my way towards the door. I can’t get out of there fast enough.
I’m halfway down the hall before I think to tap the front right side of my pants pocket to feel for my keys. They aren’t there. I can feel myself wanting to scream in agitation.
The juvenile part of my mind says, “Don’t stop, just keep going.”
Another louder part says “Just go back and knock on the door and tell her your keys must have fallen out of your pocket, stuff like this happens all the time.”
The whimsical part says, “This is a sign, you didn’t really want to leave. You need to go back and ask the questions that have been burdening your soul.”
I stop in the middle of the hall and turn back to glance at her room and nearly get run over by a staff member who was following behind me. I hate myself for being the person that I hate in grocery and department stores that just stops in the middle of the aisle without a care for those around them. I mumble out an apology and find myself walking back to the office.
The door is still cracked open and I give a quick knock to it’s outside before making my way through. Wendy is still sitting in her chair and quickly lowers her index finger from her nostril. I quickly look down and try to play it off as I hadn’t been looking but we both know the truth.
This moment further unsettles what little resolve I already had. I turn to leave again as she asks, “Tony?”
I half mumble, “Sorry, it was a mistake” and head back out into the hall.
She calls out again, “Tony” as I can hear her starting to rise from her plastic leather chair.
I find myself pausing in the hall. I don’t know if it’s from a sense of authority or some twisted feeling of vulnerability from having caught her in the moment.
She enters the hall. “Are you okay? Do you want to come back into my office?”
Reluctance.
Guilt.
Defeated.
I turn to face her and unintentionally give a chuckle as part of me half expected to see her finger up her nose again. Thankfully my instincts kicked in without me having to think about it. “I seem to have misplaced my keys.”
She doesn’t buy it, “You look out of place. Are you sure you don’t want to come back in.”
A sense of panic washes over me. “I had thought I might have dropped my keys…in the chair…tried to look.”
“That isn’t an answer to my question Tony.”
I pause and take a deep breath.
I let it out.
“You are right.”
“Tony?”
I meet eyes with her.
“Do you want to come back in?”
A voice in my mind screams in a facsimile of Mel Gibbon’s voice ‘You had freedom and you let it slip through your fingers! You were going to go catch a matinee of the new Avengers movie and then head over to the pizza buffet and finish off the afternoon by spending a few hours checking out all the new toys at best buy. All that is about to be lost!’
“Maybe…”
She smiles and nods.
I give a weak smile back.
She then starts to head back to her office and I’m left thinking ‘It’s not too late, you can still run.’ It’s a ruse and I know it. I can’t escape. My feet start moving me back towards her office.
I enter the office and there in the chair where I had been sitting I can see just a sliver of metal reflecting a glimmer of light back at me. There, stuck between the cushion and the inside wall, are my keys. I have to go in to retrieve them. A fish sounding voice cries out from the back of my mind, ‘It’s a trap!’
Begrudgingly I step in. ‘No. It has always been a trap, I exist within the trap.’
Without fully realizing it I find myself sitting back down as I reach down to secure my keys. I think ‘Why did I have to sit down again? I could have just gotten them without sitting back down again.’
She says, “Whenever you are ready.”
I feel myself quivering. I want to get out. I want to flee. I want to be free. “My wife…she doesn’t love me in the ways I need her to love me.” I take in a deep breath and exhale adding, “How do I get my wife to love me again?” I look down and right at the keys that now lay between my fingers.
I can hear her take in a deep breath.
“Love is…love is different to each and everyone. I can’t say what she feels as only she knows. The biochemicals of the brain are stimulated-”
As soon as those word escape her mouth I feel my mind shutting down. I hear nothing else. My heart and mind feel trapped.

And for those of you brave enough to finish this I thank you.

Tony E Milf = Ton yM Eilf = Not My (real) Life

Yes I am a sucker for the pun’s and I couldn’t resist. Besides who doesn’t love a good Milf (STORY..milf STORY!)

😛