So…

In following my last post a few days, I have a question about my ethics.

Now I’m not the devil, at least I would like to delude myself into thinking as much. My wife, on the other hand, may have a different opinion should she ever read this.

(commercial break)

She doesn’t read my blog. Much like my writings, she could care less. That’s okay because I could give a rat’s ass about some of her interests. I’m not being cruel, just honest. People need their own things and in both of our opinions, too much togetherness can be stiffling.

(and now back to the mockumentary)

I’m sitting in the allergy doctor’s office with my daughter, waiting for the side effect window to pass so we can pack things up and leave. My phone rings. I answer in the waiting area, which I know is rude, but it’s my wife and she should know where I’m at, so whatever it is, it must be somewhat important.

She is talking quickly and I manage to understand that she is in the parking lot with one of our ‘adoptive’ kids as she just finished dropping the other one at dance lessons. She can’t get back into the car because she found a bug in it and she’s spooked.

Is it a black widow? A wasp? A tiny version of Godzilla that belches flame?

So I hurry out of there and drive over to ‘rescue’ her from the deadly threat.

I get out and she points to where two bugs are stuck together at the groins. Yes, ladies and gents, it’s springtime and that means it’s jiggy time, even for the tiny critters. I walk around the car, open the door, sweep my hand inside, and swat the conjoined bastards out and onto the asphalt. My wife is still spooked and I offer to swap cars with her. She agrees and I tell her I’ll go and get the car cleaned out.

Moments later she drives off in my car and I head off to the local full-service car wash. An hour and $5o later, I’m back in her car and heading back home. She actually likes getting her car insides vacuumed out every so often as our kids are disgusting slobs. Something about removing the stench of dried-out yogurt and replacing it with fake Pino Colada is appealing to her, go figure.

So what did I do wrong?

Getting the car vacuumed and wiped down did nothing to solve the bug issue. The things got in through an air vent or when the side door was opened. It’s all psychosomatic. My wife is a loon. Is $50 worth it to give her some sense of resolution? I’m kinda leaning towards yes seeing how that is how I handled it.

Happy delusion, happy resolution.

😛