What?

When I was a younger lad I played my fair share of Dungeons and Dragons up until the time it was time for me to grow up and enter the Army. I was 22 at the time and let me tell you growing up sucks. I spent the years before this working full time at a bank and taking part time classes at the local community college. I didn’t have a serious girlfriend (SURPRISE SURPRISE SURPRISE?) at the time so much of my time was spent hanging out with fellow dweebs.

Going into the army I kind of gave up my dungeon master-ish ways though I still read comic books and collected Magic the Gathering cards. In my mind those were slightly less nerdy than full blown D&D.

Looking back now at those days I have mixed feelings. Some of it is nostalgia but some of it is clarity as if somebody had expunged the entire contents of a pleasant smelling deodorant aerosol.

Nerds, teenage nerds in particular, have a funk.

My mind however never stopped playing with creating my own little stories even though I was forced to share this mutual meat-space with the rest of you, at least until juggernaut known as the internet took over this mortal realm.

I now found myself being drawn into new realms of fantasy such as Diablo and Master of Orion. My own sense of creation took a back seat as I took in the splendor of new realities. Eventually this too would reach a level of saturation on its own, or rather have limitations placed upon it by the birth of my daughter.

With domestication comes stability and as we all know that is synonymous with responsibilities. No longer could I afford the time or monetary means to invest in much of any of my hobbies. I had to play the role of an adult.

Fuck that.

I started writing. Call it therapy, call it an escape, call it a way of getting what I wanted cause it was all of that and so much more. Yes it like all things in life took an investment on my part. I mean one can not simply buy into ones next level up and instead must actively invest upon it.

TIME OUT… I kinda got lost as to where I was going with this as its been more of a spill than a pour. I’m going to go back and read from the beginning again in hopes of finding the spark that initiated this piece.

And back… I can’t feel it anymore. Right now it is early in the morning on the 25th of February and to be honest I started this post before leaving work on the 24th. That is the trouble with getting interrupted in the middle of inspiration, it…uh…what again?

1 hour later – I got it! I remember now.

The voices of imagination, my imagination, while being born with me has also been tempered by the cauldron of my experiences, especially from those early(+) dweeb(er-ish) years.

What I’m trying to say is even seemingly wasted time was a part of who I am now. Had I not spent so much time building and designing things within my own mind then I wouldn’t have the skillset I need now to create from “what I know.”

The power (of) KORD within me runs strong. Yes K.O.R.D. is a anagram for “DORK” in case you hadn’t figured that out yet.

I am where I am in life because this is where I am meant to be according to my own choices and to the freakish events I have no control over.

In the twisted words of Popeye the Sailor man…”All I can doos is all I can doos.”

-Yack yack yack yack