My wife has sensitivity and anxiety issues. Right now her mother is dealing with some serious health issues due to an unexpected side effect of having taken Clairton while also on her Parkinson’s medication. Things didn’t go well and right now she hasn’t been herself because of it. My wife is, understandably, stressed.

Right now I am doing my best to fight off a cold and am having to tiptoe are my sensitive wife. But since this page is *ALL* about “ME” I don’t care (Yes that’s sarcasm).I get the kids buckled into their seats and load the back of the car as my wife gets herself into the passenger seat. I climb into the drivers seat and can feel my throat starting to tickle. I let loose a cough and start pulling the car out of the driveway.

I get the kids buckled into their seats and load the back of the car as my wife gets herself into the passenger seat. I climb into the drivers seat and can feel my throat starting to tickle. I let loose a cough and start pulling the car out of the driveway and towards the freeway.

As I’m accelerating on the onramp I feel another tickle and cough once more. I glance down and notice the gas tank is near empty and make a mental note to get some gas when I pull off from the freeway. The entire trip normally takes around 25 minutes with 15 of that being freeway.

In order to help pass the time I (selfishly) ask her if she is interested in seeing the Deadpool movie with me. I had recently linked the trailer to her Facebook page and called it ‘the best Rom-Com of 2016’ in hopes of peaking her interest. She says maybe as she hadn’t yet seen the trailer I linked on her page. Completely understandable.

I mention that the movie is a dark humor action movie and is rated ‘R’ with good reason. She mostly brushes me off as her thoughts are elsewhere. I ask, “Do you want me to leave you alone?” She says no and after a few moments of silence, I say, “I really hope you like it.” She gives me a half grunt-yawn as she is tired.

This is where I make my big mistake. I say “I have a feeling that should you like this you might also like Game of Thrones.” I have spent YEARS (*LITERALLY* The 6th season is coming out in a few short months) trying to get her to watch the first episode with me.

She informs me this just isn’t her thing and wishes that I would drop it. Only she doesn’t drop it as she then asks “What if I asked you to watch the Bachelorette with me? Would you do that?”

I turn towards her and with as honest of an answer as I can give I say “I would, at least watch the first episode with you.” She scoffs and says “Yeah but you wouldn’t like it.”

I shrug and say, “Going in with my preconceived notions, yes you are right, I probably wouldn’t. I can say the same thing with brocolli however. You never know I might acquire a taste for it.”

“Bullshit. You know you would hate it.”

“You are probably right, I probably would hate it. But the difference is I would be willing to do that for you if seeing it meant that much to you.” I wasn’t lying.

My throat started to tickle again and coughed for the third time.

I then said, stepping a bit too far over the line, “It’s called recipe-icity.”

She says, “Are you trying to say ‘reciprocity’?” I nod knowing she hasn’t always been smarter than me 😉 “You can’t even say the word right let alone use it correctly.”

I new butter butt dern’t feal lick collecting hers justin them.

Silence.

I start to pull off the freeway and in doing so make my way over towards the gas station. I pull into the lot and being the dumbass that I am, forget that her intake nozzle is on the opposite side of the car as mine is. I only remember this after parking and getting out only to find myself getting back in. I pull the car around again, this time putting the pump onto the correct side and get out again. Only as I’m getting out my throat starts to tickle one more time.

As I’m getting out and closing the door behind me I let loose my cough and hear her scream in frustration back inside. “I CAN’T STAND YOUR CONSTANT COUGHING!”

She woke the kids up…the kids living the next street over who were sleeping soundly in their beds.

I didn’t, due to the simple fact that I’m still alive to tell this tale, stick my head back into the car and say “Bitch, you need to shut your mouth and get your ass out of this car and pump your own fucking gas!”

My wife, she doesn’t handle stress well. She doesn’t handle anything very well that doesn’t fit her little box of reality. I still love her. I’m a glutton for punishment. That and my kids aren’t old enough to move out into the world on their own just yet (SShhhhh…. neither am I :P).

Relationships are all about ‘give and take’. I give and she takes.

It’s called reciprocity.