2023 & 2024 have not been the best years for my family.

My stepfather passed away back in May of 2023. My father-in-law passed away on Feb 1st.

Between visiting my mother in another state, and having to pull triple-duty taking care of my father-in-law’s place, my time has been even more taxed.

My job with the state has been another pickle. Management decided it was a good idea to merge my department with an adjoining one. This caused a number of the old-guard with the other unit to jump-ship by filing for early retirement. What is left from the other unit isn’t as well-versed and has led to a deficiency in training those of us that are still there.

Today was the second week of school for my kids. Last week didn’t really count as it was a partial week and my mother had come down to visit. Today, with my kids back in school, gave me a free day off. I dropped them off and found myself getting excited thinking What am I going to do with myself today?

I called up my wife to ask if there was anything pressingly due today that I might have forgotten or overlooked. She said there wasn’t anything she could think of and so, I said, “Well then I’m heading up to Lake Tahoe for the day.”

That caught her off guard and her response was something akin to “But I can come up with something for you to do”

I laughed and quickly hung up.

Then that stupid morality thing kicked in.

I called up my father, who was spending the day with his own mother. He does that every Friday. He’s a good boy, unlike myself.

She is 96 and he is 76.

She is half blind and deaf as a doorknob. I know, that sounds cruel, but she can’t hear me and can’t see well enough to read this so what does it matter?

I punched up my dad’s phone number and called him.

It went something like “Hey Dad, do you mind if I come up and make an impromptu visit?”

Two and a half hours later I was at her house.

We talked for a bit before he had to get back into the car and pick her up from her Friday beauty salon appointment. Much was said and much was agreed upon. And yes we didn’t dip our toes in the political folly which separates him from me. He is along the lines of “I dislike Trump but at least he isn’t one of those socialist weirdos that want to make it legal for staplers to get gender reassignment surgery. I didn’t want to point out that staplers already have this built-in.

I’m more along the lines of “I’ll take a fresh stuttering corpse over anything remotely related to a liar-cheat-convict-juvinile-liar-rapist-fraudster-liar-narcissist… did I forget to include ‘liar’?

Anywho… so it’s time to go pick her up and together drive out to get her. We drive her home and it doesn’t take long for the reality of how blind and deaf she is to fully sink in. My throat is getting hoarse from having to shout out anything I say. Much of the time she interrupts my shouts by verbalizing her thoughts. It felt like I was dealing with a child around three years old.

I can’t but help look to my father and wonder if life will do to him what it’s doing to her. Will my children have to endure this fate with me? Nothing in life is safe. Nothing is guaranteed. I could die driving home. I could die choking on a french fry. I could have one of my children killed in some freak accident. Nothing is safe.

It’s depressing.

Some small voice in the back of my mind reminds me I wasn’t born in a starving country and have lived a good life.

What is that called? Survivors guilt?

I am lucky. Not everyone is. You never know how long your luck is going to hold out. It could that very next french fry.

So a few days back, I was surfing the internet and ran across a video with Hugh Jackman. It’s some weird dancing video where he talks to a chair and asks if it wants to dance. The song is a cover of the Safety Dance originally done by Men Without Hats.

I don’t know what it was, but that struck a cord in me.

That song has earwormed its way into my being. It is upbeat and punchy and all in a good way. I’ve played it about 50 times so far since then and each time its left more of a smile on my face.

No, I’m not starving to death and the bulk of everyone I care about is doing well (enough).

If my mood can be lifted by a simple stupid video, my life is all the better for it.

It is currently Friday night and I’m about done with this blog posting as I need to start walking the 2.5 miles back home again. I’m going to listen to that song a few more times in between chapters of the audiobook I’m currently listening to by Bob Odenkirk.

https://www.amazon.com/Comedy-Drama-Memoir/dp/0399180516

Now I just need to find the time enough to dive back into writing my book again. :/

[Verse 1]
We can dance if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
‘Cause your friends don’t dance
And if they don’t dance
Well they’re no friends of mine

[Verse 2]
I say, we can go where we want to
A place where they’ll never find
And we can act like we come from out of this world
Leave the real one far behind
We can dance (Danser!)

[Verse 3]
We can go where we want to
The night is young and so am I
And we can dress real neat
From our hats to our feet
And surprise ’em with a victory cry

[Verse 4]
I say, we can act if we want to
If we don’t nobody will
And you can act real rude
And totally removed
And I can act like an imbecile
See Men Without Hats Live
Get tickets as low as $73

[Chorus]
I say, we can dance, we can dance
Everything is out of control
We can dance, we can dance
We’re doing it from pole to pole
We can dance, we can dance
Everybody look at your hands
We can dance, we can dance
Everybody’s taking the chance

Safe to dance
Well it’s safe to dance
Yes, it’s safe to dance

[Verse 5]
We can dance if we want to
We’ve got all your life and mine
As long as we abuse it
Never gonna lose it
Everything will work out right

[Verse 1]
I say, We can dance if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
‘Cause your friends don’t dance
And if they don’t dance
Well they’re no friends of mine

[Chorus]
I say, we can dance, we can dance
Everything is out of control
We can dance, we can dance
We’re doing it from pole to pole
We can dance, we can dance
Everybody look at your hands
We can dance, we can dance
Everybody’s taking the chance

[Outro]
Well, it’s safe to dance
Yes, it’s safe to dance
Well, it’s safe to dance
Well, it’s safe to dance
Yes it’s safe to dance
It’s safe to dance
Well, it’s safe to dance
It’s a safety dance
It’s a safety dance
It’s a safety dance
It’s a safety dance
It’s a safety dance

Tootles all

😛

Oh, and FU Dwight