Yesterday I signed up to be a $10 Patreon member of Mur Laferty’s website Murverse.com

Stupid? Maybe… Optimisitic? Maybe….

Except life (and progress) is doesn’t happen on “what if’s” but rather on attempts (and numerous failures) in order to get something done.

So right now you might be thinking “what is it I am attempting by doing a donation?” Well let me elaborate a bit.

As part of another podcast I listen to (TheDeadRobotSociety) I posted the begining of a story as kind of a humor piece. It was only 600+ words but I thought it was worth some commentary by those reading it. At the very least I would get a “cute” or “oh that sucked” or something. I got zilch.

So that means….

Nobody cares…. which isn’t what I am striving for as an amature author

Everybody loved it and was too awestruck to say anything…. yeah right

Nobody liked it…. which isn’t so bad save for the fact that nobody had the “bravado” to say so much. I am a big fan of honesty, even brutal honesty. They of course probably don’t think this same way and are going under the direction of “better to say nothing than to be negative.” But here is the crux of it, how am I going to identify my weaknesses if I nobody points them out?

So it was the silence that drove me into Murs arms. * did that sound creepy? If not I’m afriad I might be losing my restraining order edge.

Now does that mean that Mur might at some point find my sight and read this. Sure, but I’m not really embarassed or hidding much of anything. Lots of events cause people to take certain actions in just about every decision they make. I am looking for feedback and according to her sight those that pay the $10 a month are granted just that.

Am I using her? I am not the type of person to try and take advantage (The restraining order comment was a joke) of people. Still… we all use people. We know a person that knows a person and suddenly we have a contact for a service that needed tending. It’s called capitalism. That being said I know she can choose to drop my ass should she feel the need but I gather from her personality, from having listened to so many of her podcasts, that she would just come out and say I’m being bothersome. I actually don’t plan on utilzing her all that much but right now could really use a reality check as to if my stuff is worth anything. Call it a moment of doubt. I need somebody to give me the facts of the Pens and Papers (spin off joke about the Birds and the Bee’s). Writing isn’t always pretty, you got blood and swelling and feeling of excitement which ultimatly result in a sudden release of pent up thoughts all over your paper. What? Isn’t that what writing is all about? Releasing your inner self and getting it out for everybody to see?

I think $10 a month might be worth it.

We shall see 🙂