December 19 2017

McScUse Me?

So this morning I walk into a local McDonalds to get some writing done before I head across town to my job. I like to wake up early and get my wordsies out early as I find I tend to get dumber/lazier throughout the day. Its just how my mind works and I’ve come to accept it. So I get in line and wait my turn for the cashier when a homeless person

*(is it wrong to say ‘man’ or if it was a male or a female? PC is so wrong. Let me just say it was an elderly Chinese lesbian with a hook for a left hand who is high as a kite and hope I’ve insulted everyone evenly enough. It wasn’t, but this is my ‘story’ so I can say whatever I want)

So as I’m standing there in line this person comes up to me and asks that I buy them something. I feel gullible and say “Sure, I’ll buy you a burrito.” I was going to buy myself a burrito and a tea so adding another dollar burrito isn’t that much of a deal. He then says, “I was hoping for an egg mcmuffin* (I honestly don’t remember exactly what he said but again, my story, bite me).  I look at him thinking ‘mother flipper, you ain’t going to eat better than me on my dime’. Then when the lady working the counter is finished with her existing customer she steps back to grab the next completed order tray and says to the homeless person next to me, “Your order is ready.”


I look at that tray and notice he already has three food items, that’s two more than I was going to order for myself. The homeless person then goes over to collect the tray and I do my best to ignore them. I then get my chance to place my order which now consisted of having but a single burrito. Having completed my order and turning away I see the same homeless person standing there with no tray in hand asking about the burrito I was originally going to buy for him. I reply to him while pointing at his tray over on the nearby table, “You already have your food.”

Am I a cold-hearted bastard? I think not. I hope not…

Dwight-les…(Tootles alteration for this particular story)



Posted 2017/12/19 by TheWriteDave in category "Uncategorized

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