I have a theory. I have no proof of this theory… but I have a theory.

My theory isn’t as wild as the theory of gravity but it’s got its own share of impracticality.

Imagine if you will… the beginning of the big bang… The Universe is born from nothing. It is the result of random particles blinking into existence, possessing incredible amounts of energy, and then blinking out again. Only instead of annihilating itself completely from the polarity it possesses, a tiny infinitesimal portion of it sticks around. Could this  infinitesimally small residue be our universe?

Now here is where it gets weirder. Imagine that dark matter is nothing more than residue from other universes that have since been born of nothing and have since returned to nothing.

You see, as a *NERD* I’m quite educated in the theory of my own wild imagination. I know from watching various NASA/COSMOS/NERD type shows that our own universe is going to experience some sort of heat death in about elevenidy-quadrillion-pexillion-hugeillion years. That’s a real number, look it up. Back yet? Good. Now that you have studied up on the thermal heat death of the Universe… what is to say that dark matter, which doesn’t react to anything in our universe, is nothing more than the spent ash of prior Universes? Does spent ash ignite when thrown into the furnace of a big bang? No, otherwise it wouldn’t be called ash. See, I told you I was smart.

Think about this. Go on, I’ll wait here for a bit.

…

Back?

Still thinking I see. We’ll I don’t mean to push you too fast here but I don’t have all the time in the universe to wait. I have my own version of a thermal death to attend to at some point. You see dark matter doesn’t react, or at least as far as we’ve been able to determine. So if it was inert, save for its rudimentary gravitational force-

Damnit I just had a phone call and that took me out of my head. It was a wrong number too. It’s almost as if the Universe is trying to keep me from solving all of its secrets. *Looks for aluminum hat*

I know my thinking might sound weird but I assure you *adjusts newly dawned hat* that it’s no crazier than the crackpot Galileo. Yes, before you go there, I fully admit I had to google how to correctly spell his name.

Now leave me and my jars of urine alone!

GET OUT!